


Absence

by Sissiqueen



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Age Difference, Age Play Little Castiel, Age Regression/De-Aging, Alternate Universe - Serial Killers, Anal Sex, Blood Drinking, Blood Kink, Bottom Castiel, Breathplay, Collared Castiel, Consensual Underage Sex, Consensual Violence, Daddy Kink, Dark Sam Winchester, Dom/sub, Domestic Discipline, Dominant Masochism, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Forced Sex, Hurt No Comfort, John Winchester Being an Asshole, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Light BDSM, M/M, Manipulative Castiel, Masochism, Masochist Castiel, Murder Kink, Necrophilia, Oral Sex, Orphan Castiel, Past Brainwashing, Possessive Dean, Protective Dean Winchester, Psychopath Castiel, Psychopaths In Love, Rough Kissing, Rough Sex, Russian Castiel, Sadistic Dean, Serial Killer Dean, Top Dean, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-22
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-08-10 11:26:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 30
Words: 39,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7843081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sissiqueen/pseuds/Sissiqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel's the only child of Russian mobster. One day his parents dissapear, leaving him with American most wanted serial killer - Dean Winchester. As Castiel grows up, his relationship with Dean is becoming more dangerous and it's not only because of the man.</p><p> Dean is a brainwashed criminal and Castiel's a manipulative psychopath. There are many descriptions of abusive relationship, so please be careful if it triggers you in any way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One.

**Author's Note:**

> IMPORTANT: Every dialogue in italics is in Russian.

I really hated the United States and I had no idea why my father insisted to take us with him. People were looking weird and speaking funny, and I couldn't understand one word. My father was always saying that I shouldn't be learning any foreign language until I speak perfectly in Russian.  
_"Mama, I wanna go home."_ I looked up at my mother who was sitting with me on soft grass in some big park. She was very pretty and, comparing to most mothers in this park, she was also young. I saw a lot young mothers back home, but Americans probably likes to wait. Weird thing, what are this people doing without children? My mommy likes to spend all the time with me. Sometimes she was going out of course, but not much, because father doesn't like her alone.  
_"This is our home for now. When you father will be done with his buisness, we might come back."_ I know I shouldn't be angry at her - it wasn't her choice to be that far from home either. Father was always in charge of everything we're doing and hates disobedience or talking back.  
_"But I wanna go home now, I don't like it here!"_  
She offered me a gentle smile and kissed my forehead. I was fully aware there's nothing she can possibly do. She started to sing quietly, straight into my ear. Her voice was sweet like honey I used to eat for breakfast. I curled into her soft breasts, closing my eyes. She always knew how to keep me calm. I was almost asleep by the time she finished her song.  
_"Don't be angry, my sweet baby... It's going to be okay. We'll be home soon."_

Next thing I remember was being woke up by some stranger. It was incredibly handsome young man, he definitely looked like a Hollywood star. I was sitting onto his lap, his strong hands holding me still. I didn't know what's happenning or were I was. He said something, but I couldn't understand. I was glaring at his face, tanned and covered in freckles. He has beautiful green eyes and dirty blonde hair.  
_"I wanna go home. I want my mama!"_ I cried, looking through the room. It was dark and filthy, and I smelled something odd. Stranger spoke again, but I didn't bother to turned my eyes on him. It was pretty obvious he didn't know Russian, so we had nothing to talk about. He suddenly stood up, holding me in his arms. He force my face into his neck and covered my eyes as we were going towards the door. He smelled nice, like leather, car oil and alcohol which reminds my of my father. But it was different kind of alcohol - not so strong, I could say. I was placed in the front seat of some old car and the man sat right beside me. He forced my head on his tight and showed me to get some sleep. I should probably argue, but I did as I was told, because I felt really tired.

I woke up in a giant bed with the Stranger by my side. He was hugging me tight with one hand on my stomach. I was naked and he was wearing only boxers, what was really weird. I didn't like people touching me, exept my mommy, but he was warm and his smell was still nice. I patched him lightly in the arm and he opened his eyes immediately, standing up.  
_"I need to go to the bathroom."_ I said before I remembered he didn't speak Russian. But he must guessed what I need, because he hand me my clothes and head me straight to the bathroom. He's been waiting until I was done and then I followed him to the kitchen.  
_"Hi, buddy. You must be Castiel, is that right?"_ The other man was taller than the Stranger. His Russian wasn't bad, but I didn't like his accent. He has friendly smile on his face, brown hairs falling in his hazel eyes. I nodded, realizing that I was holding Stranger's hand this whole time.  
_"My name's Sam and this is my brother Dean."_ He pointed at the Stranger and I nodded again. _"You want something to eat or drink?"_  
_"I wanna go home to my mama."_  
_"See, buddy... You can't. You parents came back home without you. You will stay here for a while and I'll teach you some English, okay?"_  
_"They would never leave me! You are a liar!"_ I felt tears on my cheeks as my breathing became sharp. There was no way my parents would leave me alone. My father wasn't allow me to play outside without mommy or one of his bodyguards. And now I was with strangers in some country far away!  
_"They did, I'm so sorry. I will explain you this one day, I promise. But now I need you to calm down. You are safe here, we will take care of you. Dean would protect you, he won't let anything bad happen to you."_ I raised my head to look at the Stra... to look at Dean. He seemed worried. He gave my some clean tissue and smiled a little. I smiled back, drying my face. He was really nice man. I thought that maybe something bad happened and my father asked this man to take care of me.  
_"Okay. I would like some milk, if you don't mind."_  
_"Not at all."_ He hand me full glass of white fluid and I started to drink. I could tell it was from supermarket, not straight from a cow, but it was good enough. _"You are speaking very well for someone your age."_  
"_I guess... My father insisted for me to have a tutor, so I'm learning Russian literature and history since I was three. And I read at least five book per week._"  
I felt proud when I noticed his shocked expression. He said something to his brother and he started to laugh. I couldn't help a wide smile, because his laugh reminded me of teenagers in movies.  
_"It will be pleasure to teach you, Castiel."_ Sam finally said and I nodded one more time. Maybe it won't be that bad to stay with them for a while. I was sure my father would take me back home first chance he'll get. Never thought I could be so wrong.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Almost eight years later, I was still living with Dean. Sam went to college to become a lawyer and we moved to a big bunker in the suburban area. Dean claimed we need some privacy and there was a big library inside, so I wasn't complaining. It was just few hours by car from Sam's campus, at least when Dean was driving.  
I've grown to love him, but not only as a father. He was far more than that. We were eating, sleeping and watching movies together. We were talking in a way I've never talked to my father. He listened to what I was saying, even if he always had the last word on everything. I was aware his job was illegal, but I didn't know **exactly** what he did. And I didn't asked, because everytime he was back home he seemed different. It seems like I was living with two completely different men - one funny and maybe a little bit arrogant, the other cold and wild. They both loved me though and were very possesive, but I knew how to make the wild one calm. So when he walked through the door one night, covered in blood which surely wasn't belong to him, I wasn't scared. I simply took his leather jacket off and placed soft kiss on his lips, stepping right into his personal space. He took a deep breath and I was watching bright green returning to his eyes.  
" What took you so long? I was worried." My voice was quiet and sweet, and I kissed him again. I placed my hand on his neck and stood on my toes, because he was still much taller than me. He pushed me on the cold wall and bit my lip hard.  
"You have to leave, Cas... "He pulled me into a bruising kiss, sliding his hand in my underwear to touch my butt. I let out a quiet moan, this wasn't something he usually does. "I can't have you here. Please, leave before I hurt you, please... I don't want to let you down like everyone else. "  
He was crying, burrying his face under my chin. I held him close, rubbing his hair gently. It wasn't anything new, he was saying that everytime he came back from work. Yet I was still with him, because I couldn't imagine myself with anyone else. Of course, I had nowhere to go anyway, but it wasn't important. It didn't matter. I stopped thinking about my parents long time ago. I used to be angry they left me, but it came to be the best thing they've ever done to me. I learned from Sam that my father was a boss of Russian mafia and Dean had a job to kill me, because of some buisness he's had in the US years ago - that's probably why he took me here. But Dean couldn't do this, in the end I was just an innocent child.  


"You won't ever hurt me."  
"You don't know that. I can't control myself, Cas, I'm a monster."  
"You saved me." I gripped his face and forced him to look into my eyes. Our lips brushed for a second, foreheads together. "And I can do the same for you. Just let me..."  
His body relaxed a bit when I'd kissed him again. He was older and bigger than me, but right now it seemed like he was a scared little boy. It didn't suprise me tho, I knew he never had a chance to truly be a child. He let me to undress him and I threw his clothes to the floor, knowing I have to burn them later. I couldn't stop myself from kissing his naked chest, covered in small scars and bruises. I wish he could see how much I love him. I suddenly came up with an idea.  
"Dean... I know what I want for my birthday."  
"Anything for you, angel, just say a word."  
"You."  
"What?" He looked at me, shock painted all over his face.  
"I want you. All of you. I love you..."  
He pushed me away, shaking his head. I noticed his body's obvious reaction and forced myself not to smile. I was always getting what I want and we both knew it.  
"I can't, you're just a child. You're so pure... So innocent. I can't do this to you."  
I took of my shirt, completely ignoring his words. I've had him wrapped around my finger for a long time now and I was fully aware of that fact. He would do anything for me, even if it'll hurt him. I didn't want him hurt, of course, I knew he want the same as I did. He just loved to drown himself in guilt.  
"I am not so innocent as you think, Dean. And I want you to fuck me." I took of my jeans and underwear, looking into his green eyes. "Now."  
It happened so fast, I didn't even have time to process what's going on. He knocked me to the floor and pushed wet fingers inside my virgin hole. I cried out loud, but I liked this pain. He moved them a couple times and pulled them out. Before I had time to complain, he was already deep inside me. It felt weird and it hurt, but it wasn't enough. I lift my hips, forcing him deeper, my stomach touching the cold floor. He bit my neck and started to move really slow. Too slow.  
"I want it hard, daddy." We both froze for a second. I didn't mean to say it at all. But when he started to thrust harder than I expected, I knew it only turned him on. After a while the whole bunker was filled with my moans and Dean's heavy breaths. He was still bitting my skin and I was sure some of this marks were bleeding, but it still wasn't enough.  
"More, daddy. I'm so close..." He gripped my hips, fucking me so hard I felt pain in every cell of my body. I came too soon and felt Dean rythm become unsteady. One of his hands grabbed my hair and force my head up before he kissed my rough and deep.  
"Mine." He growls onto my mouth as he came inside me. I've never felt so full in my entire life and it was the best feeling on Earth.  


"Don't pull it out... Not yet." I whispered, when he started to move again. He stopped obediently, crushing me with his weight.  
"You know, I still want to give you a real present. You have something else in mind?"  
"I want you to kill my parents. And I wanna watch."


	2. Two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter this time, but I didn't wanna start the real action in this one. So next part should be a lot longer. I know Cas is a freaking psychopath, but I hope you don't mind. He'll be worst later haha :)  
> I don't own anything from the show and all mistakes are unfortunately mine.

"I want you to kill my parents. And I wanna watch."  
My words were echoing in the whole bunker as we were still laying on the floor, Dean's body pressed close to mine. I felt him tensing above me and taking a deep breath.  
"You can't ask me about things like that, Cas." He stood up, immediately putting on his boxers. I kneeled in front of him, giving him the look of a sad puppy Sam's taught me.  
"Why not? They left me to death years ago. I want to be only yours, daddy... "  
I wrapped my hands around his thighs, eyes still locked on his face. I knew already he will do what I've asked for, but begging was so much fun.  
"D-don't call me that..." His voice broke and I smirked before taking his half-hard cock into my mouth. He moaned and I felt him hardening from my gentle licks.  
"Cas, stop this, please. You can't."  
I started to suck him eagerly and let out a happy sound as he gripped my hair. He moved his hips forward, tip of his dick touching the back of my throat. I cupped his balls with my fingers, drunk of his deep moans right above my head. He was so wrecked and it's all because of me. I've never seen him like this even after hours of watching his escapades with many women. I had to make sure he would never need anyone else.  
"I-I'm gonna..." He groaned right before coming into my mouth. I swallowed, but not all of this, letting some drops dripping from my lips. He looked at me with hazed eyes and shook his head.  
"You're doing this on purpose, aren't ya?"  
"Don't know what you're talking about, daddy." I made sure to use my sweetest voice. I licked my lips, standing up close to him. He was still breathing hard from my little performance. "Will you kill them for me?"  
"Yeah... Yeah, I will. Everything for you, angel."  
Dean kissed me gently and I felt my knees weakened. I was so in love with this man I could barely exist.  
"I'll ask Sammy to send them some picture of you to get them here. And you should go to sleep. We'll burn this clothes tomorrow morning."  
"But I can..."  
"I said go to sleep, Cas." His voice was fully dominant, so I didn't argue, but obediently headed straight to my bedroom.

\----------------------------

I was up early in the morning, as always. I've already burned Dean's bloody clothes and made breakfast by the time he appeared in the kitchen. He has dark bags under his eyes and I knew he had a rough night. He probably didn't sleep in a week or so.  
" G'morning." He said hoarsely, sitting in his favourite chair. He hasn't looked at me even once.  
"Hungry?"  
I climbed onto his lap, kissing him passionately. He hesitated, but kissed back almost immediately. I knew he felt quilty, but he really shouldn't. It's not like he forced me to anything.  
"Not really, but I need caffeine." He placed his strong hands on my hips, right on bruises he's left yesterday. I moved closer, bitting his jaw. "Talked to Sammy, he will take care of that and keep us posted. "  
"Do you love me?"  
"Why do you ask?"  
"You never said you do."  
"Of course I do, Cas. Stop this shit already. "  
Dean pushed me straight to the floor and my eyes widened in shock. What the hell was that? He will definitely regret this.

I force myself to cry - tears streaming down my cheeks, breath sharp and irregular. I started sobbing, crawling as far from him as I could. When my back suddenly hit the wall, I covered my face in my hands.  
"Cas... Baby, I didn't mean to hurt you. Stop crying..."  
"_You're sweet when you worried, Dean._" I made sure to sound terrified, even though I was having a lot fun.  
" I'll do anything you want. Angel, please... I will kill whoever you want, I will rip them apart if you want. Just stop crying."  
His voice was so weak I had really hard time stopping myself from smiling. I knew I shouldn't be treating him like this, but what could I do? I'm a manipulative little bastard.  
"A-anything?"  
"Yes, baby. Just say one word and I'll do it."  
I can use it. Oh, I **will** use it.

I smirked and stood up, straddling in his laps once again. I started to move my thumb across his bottom lip. The fake tears were long gone, which should be pretty suspicious, but Dean didn't seem to notice. He loved me so much he was ready to sell his soul if I ask him. What have I ever done in my life to deserve this?  
"Y'know I'll do anything for ya." His texan accent was suddenly there and I shivered. He was so perfect. Loving. Caring. Protective. **Mine.**  
" Fuck me." I breathed out, pulling him closer. Our foreheads were touching and I felt his breath becoming heavier. My erection was painfully pressing against thick material of my jeans.  
"Cas..."  
His lips were almost on mine, where they belonged, when I heard the phone ring. I whined, trying to hold his hands.  
"Leave it, Dean, please." I demanded, looking into his eyes. They were almost black with lust and I knew I wasn't looking any better. He sighed,  anserwing anyway. I felt his tense for a second and raised my eyebrow in confusion.  
"Okay, Sammy. We'll be there soon, thanks."  
He swallowed hard, avoiding my gaze. _Oh God, that can only mean one thing._ Now I was even more turned on than before. Just few more hours and it will be over. I will be Dean's,  Dean's alone. And we will be probably rich as fuck, my father surely didn't leave any last will.  
" We gotta go, angel. They're in the plane already."  
"We still have time." I whispered straight into his ear, lowering his sweatpants just enough to free his cock. I slid my jeans and boxer all the way down, throwing them on the table behind me.  
"Cas, you can't be serious."  
I shushed him while positioning my entrance right above him. He moaned quietly, sounding somehow ashamed of this whole situation. _So adorable._ I slid onto his dick, burrying all of him deep inside in one move. It burned much more than yesterday, but hell it was the best pain in the world.  
" Wha- Cas, stop, you'll be hurt..." His voice was broken as he gripped my hips, trying to pull himself out.  
"Ssshh... 'S okay, I want it like that."

I started to move, rolling my hips a little bit to fast and putting quick kisses all over his face. When the tip of his cock brushed against my sweet spot, I bit his exposed throat causing it bleed. He moaned loud, breath quick and sharp when I licked his blood. It tasted like iron and pie he ate almost everyday. My favourite taste from now.  
I felt him pulsing inside as my thighs were trembling from the effort and I came creating sticky mess all over our shirts. He's held me when my body weakened and thrusted hard few times before joining me in blissful consummation.  
"That was so good... So good for me, daddy." I bit his skin once more, trying to calm down my breathing. Dean was almost unconscious from pleasure, mumbling something too quiet for me to hear. It took us about ten minutes before we were able to finally stood up.  
"We should hurry." His voice was raspy and deeper than ever. My dick twitched again happily, but I ignored it, putting my jeans back on. I skipped boxers on purpose -- that will be much better for what I've planned for later. I was watching closely as Dean's preparing himself to leave. He was now an old ripped jeans and some plain t-shirt. Necklace from Sam was shining on his chest like always. I knew he had guns tucked in his belt as well as his favourite knife in heavy boots he put on. 

He lead me to the garage where his precious baby was waiting, ready to ride. I was really impressed how good care he takes over that car. It was still looking like brand new model even though it was far older than we together. I took my place up front, close to Dean as he fired the engine without any effort. He smiled a little bit and I couldn't stop myself from kissing his lips. _So soon._  
" Let's go hunt, angel."


	3. Three.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel finally has a chance to meet his parents again. It didn't turned out quite nicely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT: Dialogues in italics are in Russian.
> 
> I think I already know how this one will end, so there will be a lot if details from now on.

Dean stopped the car nearby and we went in some construction site. I knew this place was his idea - he wanted their bodies to be found soon. I didn't mind tho, it would be nice to be all over the news with Dean. The whole world will know who I belong to. Maybe it was sick, but hey! I would let him fuck me in front of cameras just to prove my point. We were bonded and we'll be together until one of us end up dead, because we love each other too much to let go. Even if we are so many years apart.  
I was holding his hand the whole time, sliding my fingers between his own. His palm was sweaty so I stopped and forced him to look at me. I brushed my thumb over his chin before kissing him gently. Too gently for either of us to like it, but pleasure wasn't important right then.  
"You'll make me really happy, Dean... I know you've done this before many times, just let yourself be the way you always are. It's just another day in work."  
"Cas, you don't understand, I may hurt--" His voice was filled with fear and I had to stop myself from sighing. He doesn't understand anything. He really doesn't.  
"No, you won't. You will never hurt me and we both know it." I kissed him again, all teeths and tongue before putting his hand on my growing erection. "I will love you even more after that. I want to watch you ripping them apart with your knife. And I want you to fuck me right in front of them, before you kill them."  
He let out a quiet moan, showing me hard agains cold bricks. He grabbed me by the throat and squeezed his fingers so hard I couldn't breathe.  
_God, it felt so good._  
" Want me to fuck you, huh? Oh I will, angel. I will fuck you so hard you'll lose you fucking consciousness before I'll be done." I thrust my hips into the air, looking desperately for any kind of friction, but there was none. This was the exact same moment when my Dean was gone and the other one appeared. And I needed him to be mine too.  
His hand was still on my throat, my vision slowly going blank when I've heard footsteps. Dean quickly reached one of his guns, substituting the barrel to my temple. He cocked it and I swear to God I've never been so horny in my life.

" _Castiel! Sweet Jesus, you're alive! My sweet baby..._"  
I immediately recognised my mother's voice even though I haven't heard it for years. She was looking older, far older than her age and completely exhausted. I saw purple bruise on her cheek and couldn't help a little smirk.  
" I thought you suppose to kill him back then." Dmitri Novak appeared just behind his wife, carefully avoiding my gaze. I knew he doesn't want to see me, he must have been aware how much hate I had for him.  
"Well, I've changed my mind. Now give me your weapons. All of them."  
Dean's voice was cold and rough, and wild, and I had a really hard time controlling myself. I looked at him, noticing his eyes were almost black from _need and hunger_. I saw how bad he wanted to kill them and it was truly beautiful. Dean was right -- he was a monster in some way, but I was too.  
My mother was crying this whole time, mumbling some things in Russian, but I didn't even care. My eyes were locked on my father as he threw his gun towards us. Just one gun. _Pathetic._ Dean grabbed him so fast I didn't know what's happening for a second. But just a minute after they were both chained on the cold ground, vulnerable and scared. It was probably the last thing they were expecting from their beloved son. Or maybe not.  
" Cut him first." That was the last thing they're expecting.  
I bit Dean's arm while he was reaching for his knife what caused my mother to scream. Dean hit her with an open palm and then I bit him again, much harder.  
"I want her conscious." I complained, invading his personal space. "You promised. "  
"I know that angel, so shut up."  
He pulled me into a brutal kiss and put one long cut on my father's cheek. I watched with a corner of my eye, rubbing my hips on his muscular thigh.  
"_Stop! Castiel, what are you doing! Please, don't..._" She sounded so amazingly frightened I almost came right then in my pants. I grabbed Dean's hand with my own and we slid the blade right into her stomach, careful to avoid any vital points. She cried out loud and coughed. I took a deep breath, feeling Dean's other hand on my ass.  
" What have you done with my son, you bastard?"  
I snarled, seeing Dmitri's angry gaze on us. They vere honestly thinking I will be still the same baby boy they've abandoned that day.  
"Don't you dare calling him that. You are the one who left me!"  
"I don't expect you to understand, you're still a child."  
"Oh, I'll show you what a child I am."  
I forced Dean's hand to cut him again, near collarbone this time. And then again, and again. I was watching blood dripping on his knees and on the ground. I was furious and Dean must have noticed, because he pushed me away.  
"Enough, angel."  
"Fuck me now. Now!" I put my arms around his neck, teeths bitting into his exposed throat. I felt warm blood on my tongue and moaned loud. _I loved that taste._ I was knocked to the ground right before Dean pulled down my jeans just to have full access to my butt. I heard zipper being undone and suddenly felt burning pain in my lower back. I groaned in pleasure, but stayed still, because Dean hasn't told me to move. He started to move in fast and brutal peace, covering fingers-shaped bruises on my hips with his hands. Pain was far worse than the last time and I thought we would have to eventually use some lube. I didn't like the idea, but I would do everything to keep Dean this close all the time.  
Dean was holding my throat so hard I had to fight for every gulp of air, but I still heard my parents cries and curses.  
" Getting close, baby?" His hot breath brushed my ear before he bit it. I moaned weakly, not really able to form a proper sentence. "Good."  
His grip became tighter and I was already so aroused that I would broke if he touches me.  
"Yeah, baby. You like that?" He panted, hitting straight into my prostate. I came right away as my vision went black and I was barely conscious at this point. Turns out Dean kept his promise. 

He slapped me lightly, forcing to open my eyes. I was feeling dull pain in my ass and took a deep breaths. I needed air so much it hurt.  
"Did you...?" My voice was wrecked and my throat burned, and I was so grateful for that. But I still couldn't left Dean unsatisfied, even if I had no strength to move.  
"Yeah, Cas, I did. Right into your pretty hole."  
He kissed me and I looked at my parents. I think we broke them at this this point already. My mother's face was wet from tears and bright red. She wasn't moving, just shivering a little and talking to herself. Dmitri seemed more angry than sad, but also ashamed. He surely didn't like anything about my relationship with Dean. I felt Dean holding me close to his side as he spoke in deep, dangerous tone.  
"Do you want to say something before I kill you?"  
"_Why are you doing this to us, Castiel? You're my little baby, please... We can take you far away from him, you'll be safe. He won't hurt you again._"  
"_Oh, you think he hurt me? I begged him to do it, you know? We're fucking like animals, anytime one of us gets horny. And God, you should see how he had me on the hood of his car, let me cut him and lick his blood until we both came in the middle of some parking lot._" I smirked at this memory, it's still one of my best. "_When he kill you and I get your money I'll make him kill and torture for me every fucking day. You know why? Because you turned me into a psychopath the moment you left. It's all your fault._"  
" Kill them." I ordered simply, sniffing Dean scent. He was sweaty and dirty, but he still smell the same after all this years. It'll be my favourite smell forever.  
He obeyed, of course he did. The only thing he wouldn't do for me was to hurt Sam -- Yes, I've tried. When I asked him for it right after my tenth birthday he punched me so hard I fell from the stairs and spend a whole week in the hospital. But I still could ask him to hurt anyone else.  
"Bullet or a knife? "  
"Bullet. Make them suffer."  
Dean reached for Dmitri's gun and shoot them without any hesitation. He was in killer mode so he watched them bleeding out until they stopped moving completely. And I was standing by his side, doing exactly the same thing.

I curled on the front seat, restarting my head on Dean's tight. He was warm and relaxed. I closed my eyes, feeling the car moving.  
"What did you tell her?"  
"Nothing important. Just that I'm not her little boy anymore. "  
He would kill me if he only knew.


	4. Four.

I was waken up by Dean's kisses on my sensitive thighs. I whined quetly, not openind my eyes and tugged fingers into his short hair. I took me some time to realize I was wearing only too-tight-now boxers. Dean must have undress me when I was still sleeping.  
"G'morning, angel... How do you like this new wake up call?"  
He pulled my boxers just a little bit down, kissing sking right next to the material. I was paintfuly hard at this point and not really in a mood for teasing.  
"Don't ask stupid questions. Can you fuck me already?" I shifted uncomfortably, trying to force his head lower. He chuckled and bit my bottom lip until it was bleeding.  
"Not today, we got some things to do."  
"Are you fucking serious right now?! You can't leave me like this!"  
"Of course I can, Cas. And I will, because you're mine and I am in charge here. Now put your clothes on or I will punish you." He growled straight into my ear, voice harsh and dangerous. I thought in this moment that maybe I broke him and he has lost his sense of control over his murderous side. And I couldn't help, but wonder if the other Dean will stay with me forever.  
"I said put your clothes on and come with me." His tone was demanding, so I didn't argue. I get my favourite jeans, really tight one with holes on both knees and put them on alond with powder pink shirt with white words _daddy's boy_ on front which I've ordered online just recently. _He will so regret it._  
" You're such a little slut, Cas." He growled, pulling me into a rough kiss. He slid a tongue inside my mouth while his other hand was gripping my throat. I wasn't sure, but looks like it started to be our routine. Not that I mind, I loved relying only on his mercy. He had my life in his hands, literally, just like the night we've met for the first time.  
When we finally made it to the living room, we placed ourselves on the couch and Dean turned a TV on. I have to admit I haven't even known we had a TV until then, because I was always so busy with my books.  
"Look, there it is..." He put an arm around my shoulders, grinning like a little child. _So sweet._ I turned my eyes on the screen and saw the same area we visited the day before. Some funny looking guy was standing right in front of camera with microphone near his face.

_" We are now in the place where two bodies were found yesterday evening. Dmitri Novak, the boss of Russian mafia and his wife were killed - our source told us they were also tortured before their deaths. Police suspected crime in retaliation, seeing that Novak was as well involved in drug trafficking all over the Europe and the United States. At the crime scene two samples of semen were found and Dean Winchester's - most wanted serial killer of recent years - DNA matches one of them. Eyewitness testified he saw a man leaving the building with young teenage boy. By the description of the boy and photograph detectives have found it seems like Novak's son who was reported missing eight years ago in Russia was present during the murder. There are yet no informations about relationship between Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak. Police advises an increased vigilance and avoiding dark places, especially during the nights. " _

Dean lost intrest in mid-speech and wandered his hands all over my body, bitting my neck from time to time. I, on the other hand, were completely fascinated. They knew so many details and it's only been one night. How's it even possible Dean was never caught? How could he be so reckless?  
"Dean, they found your DNA. "  
"Yeah, I know. It doesn't matter, they won't find us. "  
"How can you be so sure?"  
"I just know, angel. Trust me. They have only DNA, plenty of it actually. But that's their only lead and I left it on purpose. I wanted them to know we're together." He smirked, bitting my jaw. I crawled onto his lap, placing my head on his chest. I sniffed his scent and closed my eyes. We were in the news. Finally me and him. I couldn't believe that, but at the same time it seemed so right. They all should be afraid of us, because I meant the words I've said to my mother.  
_"I'll make him kill and torture for me every fucking day."_

" What are thinking about?" He asked, when one of his hand slid under my shirt. He started teasing my nipple, squizzing it hard. Everything he did to me was always so brutal... Which was weird, actually - I remember how gently he treated all the women he's been with. But I loved it and it made my special. I was the only person who had Dean like that.  
"I think about your big cock in my ass, daddy." I used my sweetest, perfectly childish voice. I needed him to touch me so bad. I started to move on his lap, grabbing his shirt into my fist. His breathing quickened, but his hands were still in the same place. Patience was never my strong point and I already felt angry.  
"Still not gonna fuck you, Cas. Be patient and I'll give you anything you want in the evening."  
He was really playing with me. _With me._ This was far beyond my comfort zone. And right then I was not only angry, but also frustrated and fucking horny. But I've decided that okay, I'll let him have his victory for now. He would be easy to manipulate after.  
" Can you at least do some of this?" I moved his hand on my throat, looking at him with my puppy eyes. He stroked gently big purple bruises he's left there and smiled. _This perfect smile will be my death someday._  
" Lay down. Don't want you to collapse on the floor."  
I laid down on my back, spreading my legs so he could kneel beetwen them. I've decided to stay completely still, so when he kissed me I let his tongue explore my mouth for a thousand time before he placed his both hands around my neck again.  
"You have to look at me the whole time, angel. Can ya?"  
"Yes." I answered quickly, feeling his grip going tighter with every second. I obediently locked my eyes on him. He kissed me once more and started struggling, not in control over my body anymore. I tried to stay focused, but I could barely see him. And then he let go and I could finally get some air.  
"I'm not done with you yet." He clenched his finger again, even harder than before and I grabbed his wrist, my body trying hard to keep me alive. I heard blood rushing trough my veins and my heart beating furiously, and I wanted to breath, but it was so... _Fuck, it felt so goddamn good._ I've never wanted him to stop, but I knew he would have to at some point. It was only when I saw complete darkness, he took his hands away and touched my cheek.  
" Breathe, Cas. Nice and slow, you're alright." His voice was soft and comforting as he was carresing my face with the same fingers that's been chocking me just a moment ago. My breath was quick, unnaturally quick, but my vision was slowly going back to normal. I felt dizzy though and not so sure if I could stand up on my own.  
"Just lay down, it's okay." He cut off my attempt to check and lowered his body to keep me in place.  
"I love you." That was the only thing I managed to say. My throat was swollen and dry and every word was like a torture. But I needed to let him know. Even though he has never said this three words to me. Of course, he was saying that he do, but he has never actually _used_ this words - he was always just answerig mine.  
" I know, me too. "  
_There it is again._  
" Why can't you just say I love you too?"  
"Shut up." He rasped and slapped me right in face. Then he stood up and I saw **my** Dean. He didn't apologise, just kissed me gently with his eyes closed, like he couldn't stand my gaze on his face.  
" You can hit me, Dean. Any time you want... But not in face."  
"What are you talking about, Castiel?"  
"I like it better when it hurts."  
He opened his mouth to say something, but the phone rang in the exact same moment. He answered immediately. His fingers gripped my hair hard and brutal and I knew he was on board with me. We were like a perfect match, we _are_ a perfect match. He finally threw his phone, bitting my lips after before he stood up.  
" Sammy's here. He want us to meet his new girl."


	5. Five.

He went up to open the door without even looking at me. And that made me only more angry, because well - Sam was more important than _me_. Again. But on the other hand Sam finally found himself a new girlfriend. I was certain he wasn't in any kind of relationship after Jess' death and I honestly thought he never will be. But that could only means that we wouldn't see him as often as now and I would have Dean all to myself. I should thank this girl, but I'm not the " thanking" type of guy really.  
"Hey, Cas!" Sam pulled me into a hug and I pretended I don't mind him touching me. Or using the shortened version of my name which only Dean could use. I couldn't make Sam hate me, because he would tell Dean to get rid off me. And Dean would listen, it would broke him and killed him in so many ways, but he would listen. Because Sam was _his little Sammy_ and he had to protect him. Even if that means being unhappy for the rest of his life. He would do anything for his brother and it would be sweet if Sam was me. Dean was mine now and I've never liked sharing.  
" Hello, Sam. I'm suprised you have a girlfriend." I answered in my formal, clinical tone like if it was something completely obvious. It was, for me at least. I remeber clearly his grief, long silent conversations with Dean, their night in some random bars and his drinking. He drinks almost as much as Dean back then which was kinda adorable. He loved Jess so much I thought he would kill himself, but he didn't. Dead-Jess and I were sharing some secret, actually more than one. We've spent some really productive time together and I get to know her over all this years and I was sure he wouldn't like Sam to be sad for long. Well, he was apparently. _If he only knew what I did to her._  
" He has. I'm Ruby, nice to meet you both. I was thinking Sam's joking when he told me his real name is Winchester." The girl was pretty, definitely Dean's type too. She had dark brown hair, almost black and beautiful lips. She had also really good looking body and I felt the strong need to put Dean's knife into her flat stomach. She would bleed _so nice and sweet._ I didn't say it out loud of course, it wouldn't be a very good first impression.  
" But I see you didn't mind. " Suddenly Dean was right beside me, stroking my neck with his fingers. I shivered when he touched the bruises, but leaned into the touch anyway. I didn't want him to think I was hurt, because he would feel gilty and probably stop any form of physical contact for few solid weeks or so. He was always cute when he was worry, but I didn't need him like this in that particular moment. I preferred my new Dean.  
"I didn't. You only kill bad people, right? I mean, mostly. And your last one? This fucking Novak killed my parents and he was--" She took a look at Castiel, concern written on her face. "What happened to you, kid? Your throat..."  
"Oh, I'm fine. I asked Dean to suffocate me." I stated, ignoring Dean's warning face. I wasn't looking at him at all, focused on our new companion. She raised her eyebrow and looked at Sam who was totally shocked and it encouraged me to tell more. "I also had some bruises on my hips from when we--"  
"That's enough, angel." His voice was harsh and I knew he was angry, but it was okay. The angrier he was, the better sex I get. I could probably made him furious enough he would knocked me to the floor and take me right away. He would bit my back and he would be pulling my hair hard, thrusting into me with all his strenght. And I would scream, loving every second of it. Especially with them watching.  
"I really didn't need to know that."  
"Oh, I think it's adorable." I looked at Ruby, who was smiling at me. She was curled by Sam's side, one hand in his back pocket and the other carresing his stomach through tight t-shirt. That was probably the moment I decided to like her or at least - delete her name from my future victims' list. I decided she will be useful later.  
"Adorable? Wha-- No. Okay. I'm not gonna even think about this." He kissed her, just a quick touch of lips before he gently pushed her away. "I need to talk to Dean alone for a second."  
"About what?"  
I mindlessly moved closer to Dean, grasping in my hands the flannel of his shirt. I saw him smirking before he get me even closer. I kissed him and he momenterly gripped my neck, deepening the kiss. His tongue was yet again in my mouth and I let out a quiet moan. Then he pulled my hair, forcing me away.  
"Family buisness, Cas. We'll be right back."  
And they left, leaving my with her. What could I possibly talk about with Sam's girlfriend?  
"It's about their father. He's missing."  
She knew! She knew and I didn't. _I couldn't fucking believe this._  
" How do you know?"  
"He left Sam a message yesterday."  
John Winchester. The man who told Dean to kill me. The man who abused Dean for so many years. The man who fucking buried his son underground and told him to free himself. How Sam can show in our house and asking Dean for what - to look for him? That was far **far** beyond my acceptance level. And the worst part was Dean will fucking agree. I was sure about that. Even with all the memories of his drunk father beating the hell out of him, he was so brainwashed he will do everything to help John.  
They came back after about ten minutes and I saw ashamed expression on Dean's face. Sam patted his arm in order to comfort him a little and that made me even more angry.  
" You won't go, Dean."  
"Calm down, angel. It's my father I have to--"  
"He wanted to kill me! He almost killed **you** , when you were young!" I cut him off, turning my head towards Sam. "He's not going anywhere. He's not your toy."  
"Because he's yours, huh? Come on, Castiel. I will go with him, I just need help. I'm not big fan of John either, but he's our father."  
"I don't care. You know what he did to Dean."  
"Yeah, I know. Believe me, but he's still family. I won't leave Dean alone with him."  
"Hey guys, I'm fucking standing right here, y'know? And can decide for myself, Cas. I'm gonna find him. End of discussion." Dean yanked my hair, forcing me to look at him. I knew he felt bad treating me like this, but he wasn't going to change his mind. So I had to improvise - if you can't kill them, join them.  
"Alright then. I'm going to pack my stuff."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this and for all kudos. Feel free to give me sugesstions if you have any, I will try to use them. Sorry for mistakes.


	6. Six.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's basically all porn with some abuse in the end.

I knew he didn't mean it to happen at all, not with Sam sleeping just few feets away. But there he was - naked with my body pressed to his hot one as close as it's even possible. Our kiss was deep and brutal like always and I obediently parted my lips, when Dean's licked them gently. I let the his tongue explore every part of my mouth, even if he's already been there million times. My submission was Dean's greatest weakness and I was very aware of that. So when I spread my legs and looked at him with a shy smile, I knew I will get exactly what I wanted. Dean just couldn't say no to this.  
"On your stomach, now." His voice was rough and full of desire when he stood up and lubed his painfully erected cook. I immediately fliped himself on my stomach and lifted my hips only a little bit, just like I knew he likes.  
"You're fucking killing me, Cas..." He whispered, pressing his body once again to mine. He pushed himself in without any preparation, but I loved as his cock was streching my tight hole. He gave me few second to adjust before he started moving. It wasn't enough and I knew he was doing it to make me beg. So I did.  
"Please Daddy, I want it harder..."  
This innocent tone I've used and his favourite nickname were clearly too much to remain controlled. Dean started to thrust harder than ever before, hitting my prostate each time. He forced my face onto the pillow, other hand grips my hip.  
"Is that hard enough for you, pretty boy?"  
I circled my hipsas much as I could to let the man know how much I enjoyed it. After a minute or so the room was filled with heavy breaths and sound of Dean's body slapping against my butt. He bit my neck to muffle his moans as I felt him getting closer with every move.  
"Can you please be quiet, for Christ's sake?"  
When I found Sam's eyes on my face I really couldn't help, but smirks. I started to wonder some time ago if Dean would like his brother watching. Man's thrust became sloppy exactly the same second when we heard Sam's voice, so I took it as yes.  
"S-shut up... Sammy..." I felt Dean's teeth so rough against my skin, I was probably bleeding. "Shut, of fuck!, uuup..."  
He let go of my hair and I was finally able to let out a loud moans. Now when Sam was awake, there was no reason to be quiet. Not when we were so close.  
"Daddy!"  
"Fuck, you're so tight, Cas... Oh fuck..."  
I locked my eyes with Sam's when I came all over sheet and my stomach. I saw him biting his bottom lip and glaring at his brother's dick dissappears in my ass. I was already so sensitive I felt like I was going to faint. But Dean wasn't even thinking about stopping, too focused on his own pleasure.  
"Mine." He growls, before coming hard inside my body. He was completely laying on me then, not able to move. I had some trouble with getting enough air, but I didn't even think about saying anything.  
"I fucking hate you." Sam was sitting on his bed with somewhat disgusted and maybe a little bit ashamed expression. I was seeing exactly how hard he was just from watching our quick sex in the middle of the night.  
"Yeah, you love me."  
Dean's breathing was still shallow and hot against my ear and I started to move my hips as soon as I felt horny again. Which was instantly, because of all this hormones or something. I actually didn't care, I was just horny almost all the time.  
"Can we do it again, daddy?"  
"No!"  
Dean chuckled, turning his head to finally face his brother. He was still burried in my ass, tip of his cock brushing my sweet spot everytime I was pushing myself back.  
"How dare you say no to my little angel, Sammy?"  
"I want to finally get some fucking sleep!"  
"Bet you just want to fuck him yourself, don't ya? But he's mine. And if you touch him, I will kill you. Even you, bitch."  
"I don't want him, jerk. I..." I started to talk, before Sam had a chance to finish his sentence. I somehow managed to free myself from under Dean's body and was currently kissing and licking his sweaty back.  
"I want to go with you tomorrow, Dean. Can I?"  
"That is not a place for you." Dean and Sam said in the exact same time.  
"Oh... So I am only your sex toy? "  
"You think you can talk to me like that?" I was expecting that Dean would be furious, he hates talking back. So when hard slap on my face sent me straight to the floor, I wasn't suprised. He was hitting my every day, even more frequent after I told him that I like the pain. That was completely fine with me. I wanted his full attention not only in the bunker we were living, but everywhere else too. And I knew he will feel quilty after and will try to make it up to me. So I decided to play my role.  
"What, you worried John will beat your ass if he finds out that you let me live?"  
"You will be fucking dead if you don't shut up now!" He put his boxers back on, before sitting on my stomach. He gripped my throat with both hands and I saw pure fury in his completely black eyes. I was nearly out off air when he hit the floor with the back of my head. Sam yelled something, but I couldn't understand his words until he somehow pulled Dean away from me.  
"Have you lost your mind, Dean?!"  
"You didn't need to do that." I croacked, feeling throbbing pain all over my scul. "He wouldn't hurt me."  
"He _did_ hurt you."  
" No, he really didn't." I sighted and looked at Dean, who was sitting with his back against the wall. He returned my gaze and I thought my plan worked better than I've expected.

"You can go with us, Cas."


	7. Seven.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are abuse and sex, so nothing really unusual. Sorry for this little cliffhanger, but I'll write the next part as soon as I can!

Finding John Winchester was like... Well, like finding a virgin in college these days. Not that I minded - I really hated that bastard and wanted him as far from Dean as possible, but the young Winchester's were losing their patience every day. Especially Dean. So I was constantly beaten or pinned to the wall whenever he felt the urge. Bruises on my hips were going darker and I started to think they will stay there forever. Turns out they actually do.  
"I'll kill anyone who dare to even look at you, y'hear me?" He told me once with his cock inside of me while I was desperately trying to move. He was having me on his laps in the backseat of his precious Baby. We were there for some time, waiting for Sam to come back with our dinner and Dean proposed to at least have some fun. Maybe it wasn't a proposition as much as demand, but who gives a damn?  
"Yes, daddy." I whispered, bitting his earlobe in the meantime. He lifted me up a little only to force me down the second later. He's never let me take control of our sex - at least that's what he thought. The truth is I had and always will have control of every aspect of his life. He even ate when _I_ was hungry.  
I tried to circle my hips and I immediately felt sharp pain on my cheek. Dean's hand found its way under my t-shirt and pinched my nipple so hard I had to scream.  
" Are you trying to make me mad on purpose, angel?"  
"N-no, daddy." I lied, careful to use his favourite submissive voice. "I just want to feel you better. "  
He kept me in place with his other hand gripping my throat. I was already feeling dizzy from lack of the air when he started to move. It didn't take long for either of us to finish. Dean came with my name on his mouth and I heard him right before everything turned black.

I woke up only the next day, the sun was shining through the car window. Sam and Dean were talking about something and I realised Dean must have dressed me up. He didn't bother with cleaning though and my boxers were uncomfortably sticky. He saw me awake and winked.  
"Slept well, pretty boy?"  
I opened my mouth, but no words came out. My throat was dry and swollen, and I knew I had bruises there as well. I wanted to touch them, but my hand encountered something cold.  
"Oh, I gave you some present. Wanna take a look?" He positioned the front mirror and I sat so I could see myself in it. I was in fact covered in purple marks - one under my eye, covering almost half of my face and the rest all over my neck. I was wearing a silver chain. It was made im the way that allowed Dean to pull one end and choke me without actually touching my skin. He literally made me his fucking dog! Without my knowledge.  
"Dean..." I started, trying to sound dangerous, but my voice was still broken. He hit me in the face _again_ and that sent me straight to my previous place. I told him not to do that, what was he even thinking?  
" Shut up."  
"Dean, don't be so--"  
"Not a word, Sammy. He's mine and I'll do whatever I fucking want with him."  
Sam looked at me with apologetic smile on his face, but didn't say another word. Dean was frustrated, because we were driving around for the last couple of weeks and still had nothing. And he didn't kill anyone during that time, which was tiring for me as much as it surely was for him.  
"I'm sorry, daddy. Can I find you a pretty girl so you won't be angry at me anymore?" I asked nicely, placing soft kisses all over his ear and the side of his neck. I knew he was smiling, even with my eyes shut.  
"Yeah, baby. But no touching."

  
Sam stayed in his separate motel room, because he didn't want to be involved in any of this. Dean managed to convince the security to let me into the club without a fight. He gave me a drink, smelling like if it was pure alcohol and sat by the bar. I placed myself near the wall, sipping quickly this terrible something in my glass. It wasn't long until some blonde lady came too close to me. She smiled and althought I found her ugly I noticed Dean licked his lips in approval.  
"Hey, aren't you too young to be here?"  
"I... My daddy left me here to find some company." I said before I could stop myself. Why did I do that? I supposed to drag her in the back alley so Dean could work. I suddenly remembered I've never taste any alcohol before and probably that was the reason of my strange behaviour.  
"Oh, really? I can be your company if you want, you're real cute."  
"Wanna fuck outside?" I really hoped Dean haven't heard that one, because he would kill me. The ugly lady nodded, giggling and she led me outside. When we entered the alley it was dark and she pushed my onto the wall. She clearly didn't have the same amount of strenght Dean had, but it didn't matter. I was barely standing and my head felt funny, and she wanted to have sex with me! She was touching my skin under the shirt and I started to think about screaming, but it would destroy our plans, so I waited for Dean. He showed few seconds later, when her hands were trying to undo my jeans. He pulled her hair and she screamed and suddenly her whole bodyshe hit the opposite wall and fell on the ground. Dean was looking into my eyes, breathing quickly like he was trying to calm himself enough to leave me alive. I knew I fucked up and for the first time I was kinda scared.  
"What did I say about touching?" He gripped the end of my collar and I lost an acess to the air, but I knew he wanted me to answer anyway.  
"Y-you forbid it, da-daddy. I'm sorry."  
"I'll make you sorry, after I'm done with that bitch." He hit me right into my stomach and sent me on my knees. "Don't stand up."  
He slung the girl over his shoulder and yanked me towards the car. I crawled as quick as I possibly could, anything to make my chain looser and wondered if there was some way to ask Sam for help. I was aware Dean heard everything I said back in that bar, but he was already too far gone to reason with him. I had to figured something out, because that definitely was not the time or the place I planned to die in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.etsy.com/listing/266384979/choke-chain-flat-chain-day-collar?ref=market - that's the Castiel's collar in case someone's wondering.


	8. Eight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dialogues in talics are in Russian as usual.

Everything happened so fast, my mind had a problem to follow. I know Dean locked the lady in the trunk and yanked my into the car, right beside him. He was still holding the silver locker in the end of my chain, so I wasn't even able to explain myself. It definitely didn't turn out as I've planned.  
"Don't you dare talk." He growled when we arrived to our motel in the middle of nowhere. He stopped the car and get the lady out before he finally let me breath properly. I was feeling terribly weak and the alcohol didn't help either. I obediently followed Dean to our room. It was small, but not the worst we've stayed in. I hoped walls were thin enough for Sam to hear me.  
I was lost in my thoughts until I felt strong kick right in the back of my thighs. I fell onto the floor, on my knees and turned my head to see him. Dean already had his lady tied up to the chair, her clothes laying on the floor. He reached for his knife and looked into my eyes. My body jerked off a little bit, because almost whole green dissapeared, replaced with the black pupils.  
"C'mere." He ordered and I crawled carefully as close as my nous let me. He handed me the blade and covered my hand with his own. "Now... You will slash her when she wakes up and you will also tell her why she has to die. You know the answer, aren't you?"  
I swallowed hard, because I wasn't sure if I'm allowed to talk. But when he pulled my hair and forced my head back, I knew.  
"She has to die, because she touched me."  
"Very well, angel. And when you finish, I'll show you what it means to be sorry. Just as I promised." He kissed me hard, sliding his tongue straight inside my mouth. I tried to kiss him back, but he was already gone by then. I looked up and saw the pair of scared brown eyes wide open. Which meant she was awake and I had to cut her. But I've decided to have a little chat with her first, I don't really know why.  
"Wh-What happened? Where am I...?"  
"My daddy don't like when someone touches me, I'm sorry." I answered half-true, trying to sound not so broken. I had to be tough at this point.  
"What? You told me--"  
"I have to kill you now, but it will be alright."  
I smiled at her, _actually smiled_ , and I still don't know why. But it seemed funny back then. Dean gripped my chain to stop me from moving anywhere, so I probably looked like a puppy on a leash. Which my hazed mind found totally amusing, because I was laughing when I burried the knife in her stomach. Dean gagged her just in time, otherwise the whole motel would now what we were doing. The first cut was crucial. I forgot about the fear and even about the dull tightness around the neck. I became drugged on the smell of blood and flowery perfumes she was wearing. Before I could stop myself, I was licking the red fluid off her soft skin. It didn't last long though. I felt a strong wrench and then Dean slapped me so hard my lip started bleeding.  
"I will fucking kill you, you stupid slut." He said, breaking her neck in the same time. This words were meant for me, not for her and that was the moment I've panicked.  
"_I need help, come here!_" I yelled towards the wall where I knew Sam had his room on the other side. Dean didn't like it. He wrapped the chain around his wrist and force me to stand up with it. I had no idea what happened to him, he has never was this bad before. He wasn't the man who can hurt me for real and I had no idea who was standing in front of me at that moment. Because it wasn't my Dean. He placed his other hand on my chest to keep me in place and tighten the collar so much I instantly collapsed.

  


" Hey, Cas? Wake up."  
I opened my eyes and found out that Sam is sitting beside me. He has a dissected eyebrow and couple of bruises on his arms, but he looked fine and that made me worried.  
"Where's Dean?" I croaked and sat down, not without an effort. Sam handed me glass of water and some pills, probably painkillers and aspirin. I took them and drink the whole liquid at once. "Is he o--"  
"Dean is fine, Cas. You will spend some time with me, so he can calm down. We will go to the cinema tomorrow, huh?"  
I was glaring at him like he was some kind of idiot. He wanted to take me to the cinema? To see some crappy movie? Why would he want to do that? And why Dean let him? He's never let me go outside without him.  
"I want to see Dean."  
"You won't. He will kill you if you go there and I won't let that happen. He almost killed you before, didn't he?"  
"No, he was just--"  
"Oh right, I know, you asked him to do it. But you know what, Cas? You're just a kid and he's an adult and **he** should know when to stop! He shouldn't have done none of this things to you. No matter how long you've been asking! You think strangling you 'till you unconcious is safe?"  
" He would never hurt me."  
"Well, in that case I think never is now. You will go to the cinema with me and I will show you what kid your age should be doing. And you won't contact Dean until I say so."  
I pouted my lips, but remained quiet, because Sam could be really stubborn. There was no point in arguing and I was in fact a little bit curious of what he wanted to show me. I was sure I won't like it as much as spending time with Dean, but it's always nice to see with your own eyes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why this chapters are getting shorter every time, but I promise the next one would be longer!


	9. Nine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: there's a mention of some extreme underage in this one. I want you to know I don't approve any sexual contacts with children in real life and I don't share Cas' opinion about age of consent.

When I woke up, Sam was already dressed up and drinking his coffee. And there my plan to sneak to Dean in the morning was forgotten. I sat up, fingering the collar which I refused to take off. My head hurt and I didn't know if that's from the beating or the alcohol.  
"I bought some thing so we can cover this bruises."  
"Why?"  
"Because you don't walk around looking like a punching bag."  
I frown, not quite understanding what he meant. I supposed it was a part of the American culture, because I remember my mama and babushka had sometimes a black eye or a bruised arms and no one never said anything. Well, it could have something to do with the fact who my father actually was. Sam must have been right, I probably looked terrible. I let him put some make up on my face and neck, insisting to leave the hickey I had right above my collarbone. I wanted everyone to know I belong to Dean. He handed me some clothes when he was done and I sent him a confused look. These wasn't mine.  
"Just put them on." I sighed loud enough to be heard, but I did what I was told to do. Jeans he gave me were similar to mine, but the t-shirt was too big and weird. It was copletely black with something odd in front. I shook my head, but didn't comment, because it was pointless. I knew Sam won't listen to my complaints. 

I ate pancakes for breakfast - which weren't as good as the ones Dean has done, and then we went to the city nearby. It was already midday, but I suspected it was still too early for the movie. And I was right, because Sam dragged me to some shopping centre instead.  
"I don't like it." I said, standing in fron of the revolving door. I could clearly see from there this place was full of people, mostly teenagers and I didn't want to join them.  
"Come on, Cas. Have you even met someone your age?"  
I turned my eyes towards Sam without a word. I was sure he knew that Dean kept me locked in the bunker. Well, maybe I wasn't _locked_ , I was able to go outside any time, but I just had no desire to do this. Why would I? Dean's my everything, I've never even thought about life without him. I touched marks on my hip, the only one not hide under cosmetics, to make sure they're still there. I didn't feel good in the crowd, I wanted to make Dean kill every one of them, because they were _so annoying_.  
" What are you actually doing with Dean the whole time? You never go outside? "  
"I read books while he's working on his cars and then we fuck. Sometimes we watch some movies in the meantime, but I'm horny all the time so..." I shrugged my shoulders, observing how his face's turning pink.  
"You can't say things like that so loud, people are staring."  
I looked around and turned out Sam was right. Group of teenage girls was giggling and the older people were sending Sam disapproving look. I had no idea people are so fucking sensitive. I just said I'm having sex with my boyfriend, is that wrong somehow?  
"I don't understand why they're acting like if it was such a big deal."""  
"It is, Cas. You're fifteen, it's not even legal."  
"You stole a car to drive us here, Sam."  
He was glaring at me for a good minute or so, before he sighed. There was really nothing smart he could say, because I was right like always. I also found this _legal age_ completely useless. I should have the right to decide! Dean would have fuck me years earlier if not for this stupid law. He used to touch me all the time when I was younger.

_________________________________________  
__  
As hard as he tried, Dean couldn't really keep his hands to himself. I was living with him for almost a year and I was growing prettier every day, eyes getting even bluer with age. At least that's what he told me.  
His strong hand was in my underwear, finger gently brushing my entrance. I let out quiet moan as I was curled by the man's side in the frontseat of '67 Chevy Impala.  
" I am sleepy, Daddy."  
I bit my lip, looking at Dean with already half-closed eyes.  
"Get some sleep, baby boy. Daddy's gonna play with you for a while. "  
"Don't you want me awake? "  
"It's okay, you can sleep."  
He kissed my forehead, pushing finger inside. It felt weird, but I liked it even back then. Things were getting only better when I put my head exactly on his crotch.  
"Daddy, are you hurt?"  
"Well... Do you want to take care of that?" He moved my head on his thighs and undone his jeans to pulled himself out. I just looked at him and took tip of now fully erected cock into my small mouth.  
"Yeah, such a good boy... Suck it, just like that..."  
He placed his free hand on my neck, holding my hair there. He smirked, looking into my eyes and forced himself deeper. He couldn't help deep moan when he felt that his dick was in my throat. He gripped me harder and force him to stay still for a while. He couldn't end just yet, I know he wanted to enjoy this moment. Still, it didn't take long before his breath became sharp and he was moaning quietly. I felt something warm in my mouth and I didn't like it at all.  
Dean's hand was still in my hair, forcing me to swallow. But I didn't and that was apparently enough to deserve a hard slap.  
"You should behave better." Dean explained calmy, massaging my swollen cheek. I closed his eyes that were full of tears and leaned into the touch. I didn't really know back then what I've done wrong, but I thought it has something to do with this bitter thing on my clothes. I shouldn't have get myself that dirty in his beloved car.  
"I'm so sorry, daddy. Don't be mad. " I carefully climbed on Dean's lap, head right under man's chin. I love how he smelled like leather and death.  
Dean stopped car in front of the bunker and Sam was already waiting there. He looked pretty angry when he saw me.  
"For Christ's sake, you have to hit him on his face? Someone will see and they will take him away. And you will go to the jail!"  
"No one will ever touch him and I won't go to the jail. So calm down, Samantha."  
Something was in his voice, some kind of warning or maybe a threat. Whatever it was, Sam knows better than to argue. He had to take care of me and watch his brother before he gets too reckless - that's what he said.  
"You help him with a shower and I'm going to buy some buzz." He kissed my forehead and pushed me gently of his laps. "Go with uncle Sam. I will be back soon."  
"Okay, I love you, daddy."  
"I know, my sweet boy. Be good."  
_________________________________________ 

"Cas, are you even listening?" Sam's voice was annoyed and I knew he was probably telling me some story about happy family or something like that. I apologised politely. I've decided to be nice, because I wanted to come back to Dean as soon as possible. And angry Sam wouldn't be helpful.  
I had no idea what we've done the whole day, but somehow we were finally inside the cinema. It was about 7 p.m. which means this teenage shits were having their free time. And of course, all of them decided to go to the same movie Sam's chosen. Odd, isn't it? I had to fight the urge to make loud comment about their behaviour, because they were acting like some disabled monkeys in the ZOO. Not to offend any monkeys, they are very clever animals.  
"We should see some movie for adults." I stated loud, sending Sam meaningfull look. He laughed, leading me to our sits.  
"You are not an adult, Cas."  
"Yes, but I can pretend."  
"Who would believe you? You look like an adorable baby."  
"I am not adorable, Samuel. I--"  
I was shushed, because apparently movie has already started. It was some kind of completely non educational about some boy who was gay and his parents happens to be some orthodox Christians. And of course they tried to literally knocked other boys out of his head. I found it sweet, because I couldn't understand why the hell would God care about sexuality if he actually existed.  
"This doesn't even look like someone who was beaten up." I whispered to Sam, when boy on the screen was walking around the town with fake bruises and cuts all over his body. Sam shook his head in disbelief and show me to focus on the movie. So I did, but it was only worse. Our main character, called Thomas, was found on the street by some boy from his school and the romance began. Long story short - they moved in together, because other boy's parents were also a sons of a bitches, and then they fell in love. And they love was completely... I don't know, it just wasn't right. They were constantly holding each others hands and kissing softly that they lips were barely even touching. I've never been kissed like that. They were smiling in the evenings when they were laying together in bed. In their pajamas, can you believe that? I had no idea couples do that, I've never slept next to Dean unless I was naked and worn out from sex. And they were meeting with friends and kissing right in front of them, actually they were kissing wherever they wanted. I felt jealous by the end of it, when they were getting married. They were really happy, with no bruises and no collars. I should be there with Dean, but I knew I won't ever be. He was a criminal and I was his hostage, according to the press. Stupid fucking people and their stupid country.  
"I want Dean." I said when the lights were on, trying hard to sound completely unaffected. I failed, but Sam just hugged me and we went back to our stolen car. 


	10. Ten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one has tons of swearing, but well - that's the way Castiel thinks. Also some brief rape-like something, I don't know how to name it, but still. Enjoy!

Sam drove us back to the motel and I didn't say a single word during that time. I was mad at him, because he should have not showed this movie. I was sure he did it on purpose, but I didn't know what he's been expected. That I will somehow start crying and begging him to help me run away from Dean? Did he actually think I would ever do that? I definitely wasn't the type of person he thought I was. I wasn't any better than Dean. In fact, I was far worse, because unlike Dean I didn't care if someone's innocent or not. I also never killed anyone by myself - Dean always did it for me. So in court he will be the one to recevied a death sentence, because he was not only responsible for his own crimes, but for mine too.  
I convinced Sam to leave me alone, but he insisted to walk me to Dean's and my room. He knocked and walked in without waiting for any reply. I was right behind him.  
"Dean, what the hell?"  
I frowned and then I saw Dean laying on our bed with my t-shirt squizzed in his hands. He was wasted and he definitely didn't get any sleep since the last time I saw him.  
"Cas... Baby, I'm so sorry. I didn' wanna hur' ya." He blurted and tried to sit up. I was right next to him in one second, holding his drunk body and cursing Sam in my mind.  
"Sam, get out. "  
"It's not safe, you know what he's like after--"  
"I said get out!"  
I sent him a dangerous look, fighting with myself not to reach for the pocket knife Dean gave me some time ago. I couldn't do anything to Sam, no matter how much I've wanted. He eventually left us alone and I was grateful for that. Well, not _really_ grateful, I don't think I have that emotional in me at all. It's just my love for Dean and bloodlust, nothing else. I'm pretty adorable kid, don't I?

" Get some rest, I'm here now." I whispered, bitting his earlobe. He let out a deep moan before pinning me down to the mattress and for the first time ever I wanted him to stop. His hands were suddenly everywhere on my body, like he was desperately trying to make sure I won't leave him ever again. It was when I saw that he completely lost his mind over me. He somehow managed to get us naked, which still took a little amount of time considering his state. Then he yanked my hair to flip me on my stomach and he immediately pushed in in one (not so) simple move. I felt a sweet pain, the one I've always loved the most. Always, but not that day. He started to move his hips, a lot more sloppy than usual and I didn't like it at all. I tried to rock my ass back to get more of him, but it was not even close to being enough. He wasn't thinking about my comfort and that was really unusual. And it hurt far more than I wanted to admit.  
"Dean, get off me!" Instead of the answer, what I get was hard wrench. I realised Dean was holding, or clenching to be precise, the end of my collar in his hand. And he were obviously thinking it would be a good idea to break me in half with it. So then not only my dick was unhappy, but my back was arched in this uncomfortable angle and there wasn't much I could do about it. The one thing I know was that Dean was chocking me _again_ and I was almost out off air. And seconds later I was completely out.

I woke up to terrible pain my my lower back, when Dean finally decided to pull out. He must have been sleeping as well, because when I turned my head I saw the pure confusion on his face. He was pale, almost white and there was such a guilt in his eyes. It was **my** Dean.  
" Cas, I... Wha-- Did I hurt you again? "  
His voice was raspy and full of fear. I forced myself to sit, although it hurt like hell and cupped his cheeks in my hands. I kissed him and it was going to be that kind of kiss I've seen in the movie, but Dean deepen it enough to slid his tongue inside my mouth. And there my romance scene was gone. I pushed him away gently, because I didn't want him to freak out. I still wanted him, even if he was brutal and unpredictable.  
"It doesn't matter. I'll love you no matter what you do."  
I truly fucking hate Sam for showing me this freaking movie.  
"I wanna go to school."  
I will fucking kill him and this fucking people who even came up with the idea for this stupid story.  
"That's not an option, Castiel." He growled and I knew it's bad, because he used my full name. And he never did that. I successfully avoided his gaze, not sure how I should act to convince him. It was brilliant idea in my opinion. He would have time for himself, his work and girls maybe or whatever and I would be able to talk to someone else than Dean or Sam. I didn't realise it bothers me until Sam dragged me to this fucking cinema. Stupid Sam, no wonder why he couldn't be a serial killer like Dean. Fucking kid and this riddiculous faith in justice and apple pie life. The only apple pie I will ever get would be the one Dean's buying in the store.  
"But Dean--"  
"Shut up! What are you even thinking?!  They have your picture all over the news and mine fucking everywhere! You think they won't recognise our faces?" He grabbed my chain and I moaned from pain. "Do you think I will let you fucking around with strangers? Or maybe you just get bored of me, huh?"  
"I will never get bored of you. I don't wanna anyone else, I just--"  
"Good. Because I'm all you will ever have."  
And I thought then that maybe he doesn't love me. He was talking like I was some possession, his private slave or some other shit. He wanted me close just so I could give him whatever he demanded. Few weeks ago he wouldn't even had sex with me! Fucking hypocrite.  
"I'm not your fucking toy! Do you even care about me? "  
"What kind of question is that, Cas?"  
"Answer me! Tell me what the hell do you want from me? You want to fuck me? Wanna tighten this fucking chain on my neck so I will faint again?! Go ahead!"  
I was so angry. I've never known before how other people's life looks like and I didn't care until Sam ruined my entire outlook in less than three hours. He wanted to get rid off me or what?  
Dean gripped my arms so hard I could already see the bruises I was going to have there. He kept me in place, because apparently my whole body was shaking.  
"What is your problem, Cas? **You** were the one who told me to be rough. **You** asked me to choke and punch you!"  
" Because I didn't know it can be different! I didn't know..."  
I was crying, for the first time since I was nine and screaming at night for my mama. I hated Sam at that moment and I hated myself for blaming Dean. I saw him being gentle with women before, I just didn't thought he could be like that with me. I should have asked him maybe, but I haven't even wanted it. I wanted him to be rough and brutal, he was right. I asked him for everything and I loved every second. I have no idea why I was going to pretend like we were normal. But something changed and I didn't even know what exactly. It was like this day with Sam switched all of this feelings on. And I wasn't fond of it.  
"Cas, do you want me to be delicate? "  
"I want... I want us to make love. Just this once."  
"Alright. If that's what you want."  
I laid on the bed, pulling him with me. He placed his hands on the mattress near my head to position himself and looked into my eyes suprised.  
"What, like now?"  
"Now."


	11. Eleven.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel's first introduction to gentle sex doesn't turns out quite nice.

He kissed me. Just a simple kiss, with no tongue or teeths. Our lips were just brushing against each other and it felt weird, but I liked it. I woved my fingers into his hair as he moved his head to my throat, licking gently paintful marks there.  
"Do you want me to take this off?" He whispered, his voice unusually soft and soothing and I knew he meant the collar.  
"No... It's okay, reminds me of you."  
He just nodded and started to cherish my body with his lips again. He was slowly going down and I moaned loud when his tongue touched my nipple. I've never experienced anything similar in my entire life. I'm still not sure if I liked it or not, it wasn't... I wasn't feeling comfortable, because it was so intimate. Too intimate. But I wanted him, all of him so it was good. He was sucking my sensitive skin without any break. I was a complete mess at this point and he didn't even touched me yet. I don't know how, but suddenly his mouth were on my thighs, licking so close to my throbbing erection I almost saw stars before my eyes. I tried to lift my hips, but he held me in place when his hot mouth surrounded my cock.  
"Dean... P-please." I had no idea what I was asking for, but it just felt too good to keep quiet. I spent my the majority of my life with him, so I've never had a chance to experience this before. Dean was my everything. My entire universe. And he was the only one to ever give me pleasure. No words can describe what I felt when he started to tease me with his tongue. He was so natural I wonder how many times he did that with others.  
"Cas...?" He must noticed my muscles tensing, but his voice somehow get me back to reality. I straddled his hair and directed his head back to my crotch. It was really egoistic move, but I had only this one time before everything will go back to normal. It took embarrassingly little time before I was whining and moaning, hand still burried in Dean's hair and the other one gripping the sheet. I came deep down his throat and he swallowed all of it, sucking me even minutes after I was completely out of my mind. I didn't know what was going on around me anymore.  
"Dean, Dean... Please. I need you." I mumbled with my eyes shut. I've felt such bliss already I wasn't sure if I can handle more. But I wanted him so badly I would do anything to keep him close. I wanted him to be one with me, our bodies pressed together on the bed in which probably hundreds of people had sex before us. It wasn't perfect, but at the same time it was. It was so perfect I couldn't breathe.  
"I'm gonna be right back." He kissed me quickly and went to the bathroom. I whimpered from the loss of his warm body above mine and I clearly heard his laugh. "I don't have any lube, but this should work too."  
He spread my legs, kneeling between them before he covered his fingers with some body oil or something similar. He went slow, incredibly slow. I felt only one finger at first, carefully pushing inside my abused hole. I hissed, because I was still hurt after the previous night.  
"I'm so sorry, baby. " He sucked into my nipple and I immediately forgot about the pain. He was pumping his finger in and out, obviously trying to not hurt me too much. Then he add the second and the third after couple of minutes as he was leaving hickeys all over my chest and stomach. I was hard again, my dick leaking with precum. He suddenly pulled out, but before I had any chance to complain something wet was deep in my ass. He bend my legs over his shoulders, licking and fucking me with his tongue. He somehow brushed my prostate and I felt my climax getting close again.  
"Put it in, please. Please." I opened my eyes to look at him and he smiled. He moved that my legs were pressed to my chest and I could feel his body all around myself. He pushed in inch by inch, giving my some time to adjust, which he's never done before. I felt the urge to beg him to fuck me, rough and quick, but I didn't do that. I enjoyed his steady peace, so different from his regular one I had trouble believing it was the same person. The angle was perfect, he was brushing my sweet spot with every thrust and I was moaning so loud we would be definitely thrown away if we weren't the only ones renting the rooms.  
"You're so good for me, angel... "  
Dean put his lips on mine and I knew he was already close. And so was I. "Can you come like that? "  
"Yeaah." I panted as he went a little bit faster. We were kissing and for the first time he let me use my tongue the way only he did before. I licked every spot inside his mouth before I bit his lip so hard it was bleeding. His blood was sweet and delicious and the moment I tasted it was the exact same moment I came all over my stomach. It wasn't long before Dean fully lost his rhythm, his seed filling me inside as I was almost unconscious from pleasure. And then happened something I won't ever forget.  
"I love you so fucking much, Cas." He whispered straight into my ear and we both froze. He pulled out of my body as delicate as he could and cleared his throat. I saw him going to the bathroom when I sat down, supporting tired body with my hand.  
"Dean...?"  
He came back with some towels, one of them clearly wet. He sit beside me and with the hand on my chest he force me to lay down again, before he could clean the drying semen from my body. It seemed even more intimate than the actual sex. I close my eyes, repeating his confession in my head as rough material was fondling my skin. When he was done, I grabbed his wrist and looked deep into his eyes.  
"Say it again, please. I want to know it didn't just slipped out of your tongue..."  
"I can't say it, Cas. I can't love you."  
"Why not?"  
"Because I should have killed you then... I was supposed to kill you, if my dad finds out you're here..."  
And that's exactly how John fucking Winchester destroyed the most beautiful day of my life without even being aware of that fact.  
"Then what? What can he possibly do? You're not a child anymore, Dean. I know what you are capable of. There's nothing he can do which I haven't already seen. I know you won't let him hurt me. And I won't let him hurt you."  
"You don't know him. I won't say this words to you ever again. I shouldn't have done any of this romantic crap in the first place."  
That was enough to deprive me patience. I slapped him hard on the face and put my clothes back on. I felt my blood boiling inside my vains and I thought I was going to explode. He gripped my arms and I couldn't stop myself from spitting on him.  
"If you don't love me, then why I'm actually here? Why can't I go to school? Why don't you just drop me somewhere and leave me alone, huh?!"  
"You are mine, Castiel. No one else will ever have you, you understand? "  
"I don't! I don't understand, Dean, that's the whole point!"  
Then he kissed me like nothing happened and my body immediately relaxed. I hated myself for loving him. He took everything from me, I had nothing. I had only Dean. Dean's books. Dean's clothes. The only thing that was mine were the money I inherited from my father, but money couldn't give me what I wanted. I needed to at least have a taste of normality. I wanted to know what other were doing while I was being fucked or beaten. Not that I didn't enjoy my life. Hell no, I loved it. I've always wanted Dean to go faster and hit harder, I really have. But it was so fucked up, I just realised. The way we were living was so fucked up. And maybe I just needed something more too.


	12. Twelve.

"You're mine. Mine." He growled, bitting my neck. He squizzed my ass with both hands and pick me up a little bit. "I won't let you leave."  
I sighted, placing my head on his shoulder and I wrapped my legs around his waist. I don't know how long we were standing in silence, but I'm shocked he wasn't tired of holding me like this. I sniffed his neck just like I used to when I was younger. I know he has always loved me, even if he didn't want to admit it. But I decided I wouldn't let John Winchester win and I certainly wasn't going to give him back Dean. Maybe he was a possesive bastard, but so do I. Dean was mine, just like I was his.  
"I'll kill your father if he says a bad word about us. I'll kill him and I will lick his blood from my knife. And you won't stop me, will you?"  
"No." He answered quickly, without hesitation, because I couldn't and can't be stopped. And he always knew, he was the one who taught me that. Nothing was impossible when we were together, at least that's how I felt.  
"Then I won't ever leave." I licked his lip, still shining with blood. My whole romantic mood was long gone and I wanted to feel Dean the way I've always liked the most. I reached for my knife. It wasn't big, just enough to protect myself in case something bad happened or enough to cut Dean's cheek enough to bleed. It was shallow and small cut, I didn't want him to have scars on this beautiful face. But I still saw my favourite scarlet fluid and started licking his face gently, just with the tip of my tongue. He threw me onto the bed and pulled on his boxers and jeans before crawling on top of me.  
"You want more?" He kissed me and I licked my lips after in hunger. He easily took my blade and press it to his forearm, drawing perfectly straight line deep into his skin. I let out a high moan before I sucked up to his wound, drinking every drop of blood his body was willing to give me. I forgot about school and our argument. I forgot about John. I forgot about how Dean kind of raped me last night. It didn't matter, because even if we weren't normal we had something they won't ever think about. We could do anything. We've never had to worry about morals or law, or nothing else. We were free in every meaning of this word and they won't have that. And if I decide to marry Dean, we will just thread some priest and we _will_ get marry.  
But the truth is, deep down I was still jealous. I just didn't want him to know.

" Dean, I think I found him." I broke away from him, looking at Sam's shocked expression. My face was most likely covered in blood, I could feel it dripping from my chin. "What the hell?"  
Dean stood up and tie some bandana over his injury. He hand me clean towel with a smirk and I laughed. I don't know why, but I found it truly amusing. I was sucking Dean's blood like some fucking vampire. And few hours before I prayed in my mind for us to be like this couple in the movie. That was hilarious!  
"You found dad?"  
"Dean, what the hell?!" Sam yelled louder, looking between me and Dean. It seemed like he didn't want to be there at all, but he had no idea what to do. _Adorable puppy._  
" I was just cleaning his cut." I answered sweetly, sending him an innocent smile. I wiped my face with my hand and then licked it all up, careful not to miss a single drop.  
"Are you two sick, what you even--"  
"Not a big deal, Samantha. Did you found dad?"  
He sighed in surrender, putting his laptop on the table. He opened a map with marled localisation.  
"I've managed to finally locate his mobile twenty minutes ago before he turned it off. It's few hours ride from there, we should go now."  
"Okay. Cas, grab your stuff. "  
He slapped my butt and I chuckled like a girl. Sam had to be dissapointed his little plan didn't work out like he wanted.  
"Can I blow you in the car, daddy? You seem aroused. " I asked in the most childish voice and Sam sent me disapproving look.  
"No way you sit up in front. You won't be next to each other."

I was forced to sit in the backseat, so I placed myself behind Dean and massaging his shoulders and back. I has my hands under the material of his shirt and he took a deep breath. I kneeled on my sit to be more comfortable and started kissing his neck.  
"You can't act like this in front of him, y'know that, right?"  
"Yeah, I know, Sammy. "  
One of my hands found its way to Dean's crotch, were his already hard cock was hidden under his jeans. I skillfully unzipped his pants and slid my fingers into his boxers, teasing his leaking head. Sam looked out the window, muttering something under his breath while I was jerking his older brother.  
"Feels good, daddy?" I whispered quietly into his ear, gripping his erection harder and speeding my moves. He bit his bottom lip to muffle a moan, but I still heard his sharp breath. I imagined how his face looked like as he was trying to keep focused on the road. He could kill us because of me and I really couldn't care less.  
"I'll ride your big cock while you're father will be sleeping in the next bed and you'll have to try hard to keep me quiet, you know?" By the time I finished my sentence, I felt his come all over my hand. I smiled and get him clean and dressed without a word.

Dean stopped the car near some abandoned building and took a quick look at Sam. The younger man nodded before he left the car and went to look for something in the trunk.  
"Cas, you have to stay here."  
"What? You kidding, right?"  
"Not really. " He took a grab of the collar laying on my chest and fucking hitched the end of it to the fucking handle on the outside. Then he pulled out handcuffs and cuffed my wrists on my back. "Sorry, but you would come after me otherwise."  
"I will come anyway."  
He laughed, kissing the tip of my nose. It was totally odd, he's never done that.  
"Bet you'll try. Good luck with that."  
He winked at me, before he and Sam went inside the building. I noticed them carrying far more weapons Dean usually had with him. That means something was wrong. Actually, I didn't even know why John Winchester was missing or what he was doing before that. I only knew he was a criminal like Dean, he raised Dean to took his place. Nothing more. So sitting in the Impala alone, I couldn't help wondering if they're in any kind of danger. I definitely wasn't ready to lose Dean. I cursed under my breath, somehow managing to curled myself enough to placed my hands in front of me. Then was the time for the hard part. I had to bit my lip to stop myself from screaming as I broke one of my thumbs from the pond to slid the handcuffs off. It hurt as hell, but I guess you can't help it. Not when you love someone as much as I love Dean. So with the handcuffs hanging on my healthy hand and the injured one, I tried to free my chain as well. But when I failed several times, I gave up and just ripped the handle from the door. I was aware Dean will kill me later, but it wasn't important. One thing that mattered at that time was to keep Dean save and possibly far away from John.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why I'm posting so much lately, but I think it's because of the boredom. Sorry if this was too fucked up! We ought to see John soon and some things about Dean will become a lot clearer.


	13. Thirteen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce you John Winchester in a flesh! Thank you so much for kudos and comments, it really means a lot.

There were several gunshots, I heard them clearly right before I entered the building. I wanted to scream for Dean, but that could only make things worse. I had to do some research first, I didn't know who and how many of them were inside. I didn't know who get hurt, but I was sure it wasn't Dean. _Nobody expect me can make him bleed._ I walked slowly in the direction of muffled voices. I made sure they don't see or hear me when I looked behind the wall. Winchesters were standing in the middle of a enormous hall. All three of them. Indeed I had no idea what John Winchester looked like, but it was certainly this man. He was a little bit smaller than Sam with messy brown hair and leather jacket similar to the one Dean was always wearing. They had guns in their hands as they were looking at the lifeless bodies laying on the cold floor.  
" Are you fucking stupid, boy? I ain't told you to shoot, I needed this one! You piece of shit, can't even do anything properly."  
His voice was hundred percent dominant with no room to argue. My blood started rushing through my body far to fast when I saw how Dean tenses and obediently drops his head down.  
"Sorry, sir."  
"You wanted to keep him alive? He killed mom!"  
It was Sam who spoke next and I was genuinely shocked with his angry tone. He completely ignored the change in Dean's behaviour, focused on attacking his father. Maybe he wasn't that bad. _I could like Sam._ At least one of the brothers wasn't terrified of John.  
" That's why I wanted to finish him! Mind your own buisness, Samuel. It's between me and your brother. "  
"Then I think it's my business too." I said loud and clear, walking towards the man. I noticed the bruise forming under Dean's eye before I locked my eyes on the elder Winchester. God, I couldn't find any words to describe how much I hated this man.  
"Who the fuck are you? " He took a look at my whole body, stopping on the chain and the handle which was still there and causing me some difficulties with breathing.  
"I'm Castiel Novak. Nice to finally meet you, John."  
"Novak? What the hell is that suppose to mean, boy?" He growled at Dean, who immediately dropped to his knees. I mean, you got to be kidding me! I couldn't believe that was the man I've known for all these years. The man who one time decided it would be a great idea to break a beer bottle on my head. He looked like a little kid, waiting for punishment.  
"I failed you, sir. I'm sorry."  
"Thought I made myself clear when I said I want him dead!" John Winchester hit his older son with the barrel of a gun. And that was fucking enough.  
"You touch him one more time and that will be the last thing you'll ever do." I walked over to stand between them and gently straddled Dean's hair. "Stand up."  
"Come on, dad. We'll wait for them in the car and I will explain you everything. " Sam cleared his throat, sending me a meaningful look. Well, at least that's his intention, because I had no fucking idea what he meant. I was too absorbed with my sweet boy on the floor.  
"Dean can explain himself, I'm not afraid of some little twink."  
"You should be, he only looks that innocent. Come on!"

We were left alone and only then Dean decided to stood up. He avoided my gaze and I knew it's because he was ashamed. He has never acted so weak in front of me. I grabbed his chin and kissed him rough to let him know I don't care. And actually, I didn't. He kissed me back and then he covered my other hand with his own. I hissed and immediately jerked off.  
"Did I... I did this?" He asked quietly, looking into my eyes. I started to worry, seeing that he used this question too many times lately.  
"No, Dean. You don't remember? You wanted me to stay in the car."  
"Yeah... Yeah, I know."  
It didn't sound convincing at all. I concluded that I will have to have a nice chat with Sammy. At least at this point he was already aware not to stand in my way. I was sure he will tell me everything I wanted to know, but I had this odd feeling it had something to do with John.  
"Don't kill him, Cas. Just... Not yet, okay?" He hold me tight and suddenly his lips were on mine. Probably that was his way to keep me calm and well - it was working. You wanna know how to control a teenage psycho? That's the right answer.  
"Mhm... But I will soon. You know that, don't you?" I almost purred into his ear as my breath went faster. His body was so warm and only mine. Forever. I felt him nodded when I bit the crook of his neck so hard my teeth pierce his skin. I sucked the mark there, tasting his blood _again_ on the occasion. It tasted different than before. And you know why?  
_Because of the John fucking Winchester. He was ruining my day again and he wasn't even present._  
" You will make me a bath with his blood."I stated resentful, pouting my lips. He smirked, pulling me into another kiss, which was all teeth and tongue. I moaned loud, wrapping my hands around his neck as he took me up. I was surrounding him like an octopus at that moment, I just couldn't get enough of him.

We walked towards the car like nothing's happened, like we weren't just making out at the crime scene.  
"What took you so long?"The elder Winchester take a close look at Dean's flushed face and hazy eyes. "Are you fucking that kid, Dean?"  
"Wh- what are you talking about?Of course I'm not, sir." Dean probably sounds too defensive, because John pushed him straight onto the ground.  
"Really? Because I think you are. First you let him live and then this? What's wrong with you, boy? You let some underage whore distract you from work! What next, marriage and bunch of puppies?!"  
"How did you just call him?! I'll fucking kill you!" Dean jumped to reach his father's throat with both hands and they both fell on the hood. I frozed, utterly suprised Dean just threaded his father. I might have tried to force them apart, seeing that I wanted to kill John, but Dean was a lot stronger than me and when he lost his temper - he was like an animal, ready to kill anything in his way.  
"What the hell you doin', Dean?!" Sam ran towards men, gripping Dean's hair and forcing him back.  
"He called me a whore." I explained calmy, hugging Dean tight. "Daddy, don't be angry... I don't want you to kill him."  
"No, angel. Nobody calls you that, I will send him straight to hell where he belongs. " His voice was still full of anger, but he hugged back which was a good sign.  
"I don't want you, daddy. I'll do it by myself." I brushed my lips on man's collarbone. "You remember? "  
"Yeah, okay. But I will fuck you in that bath."  
Sam sent us a weak smile and looked back at his father. I saw clearly he was tired and so was I. I wanted to sleep in my bed for a change.  
"He'll say sorry or I don't want him in the bunker. "  
Dean put his hands protectively around my waist. I leaned into his warm body, placing my head on man's shoulder. John was glaring at us, bruises on his neck well shown already. I thought I didn't like this kind of bruises on anyone, but me.  
"I'm not taking orders from you, boy. But I have to admit I'm impress, you almost had me. So I will take it back, maybe I was wrong thinking that you're going soft because of him."  
"That's not an apology. Is that good enough for you, baby?" Dean's hand was suddenly on my ass, pulling me even closer into brutal and deep kiss. I kissed back like it was the most natural thing in the world. His lips were swollen and red when we finally broke apart.  
"Yes, that's enough. I wanna go home now."


	14. Fourteen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one is so short and not very exciting or anything. The next on should be up today and it will be excerpts from the Sammy's journal, so prepare for lots of abuse and hate towards John.

Returning was exhausting. The only thing I was glad for was the fact John had his own car, I don't think I would survive with him so close to me. Fortunately we were only eight hours from the bunker - I have no idea why, because we were driving around the whole country for _weeks_. Seems like we had a good luck. But Dean was still stressed, I could see how tense his muscles were and he even hit me for touching his knee without permission. Like I needed a fucking permission before.   
" Sam, I need to talk to you." I said when we parked in front of our home and Dean went to get bags from the trunk. Sam looked at me slightly confused, but nodded anyway. He was so sweet, when he was afraid of me. He should know what I prepared for his father, it will be much better than my game with Jess. _And he would love this one as well._ Or maybe not.  
" After they go to sleep."  
Sam laughed shortly, raising an eyebrow.   
"You think Dean will let you out off bed?"  
"Oh believe me, I can make him so tired he won't mind." And that's exactly what I did.

Sam gave his father a tour around the bunker, while I went straight to Dean's bedroom. He followed me without any question and as soon as he closed the door, our clothes were laying on the floor. He literally threw me onto the bed and pulled me near the end of it by my ankles.   
"Don't close your eyes, I wanna see you the whole time."  
I nodded when he spat on his hand and use it instead of lube to moisten his dick. After that I felt the familiar strech and he was all way inside of me, which is the best feeling in the entire world. I really struggled to keep my eyes open, seeing that I was still kinda sore and on the other hand he hasn't touched me during the entire drive back home. I mean, not even on the arm or fucking anything. So maybe I broke my word at some point, while he was slowly moving his hips, but hard slap on the face brought me back to full attention.   
" 'Said I want to see you, angel."  
"I'm sorry daddy, but you feel so good..."  
He almost pulled out and then thrust right back with full force, straight into my sweet spot and couldn't fight back a moan coming from my mouth. He _laughed_ and did it again before I had the chance to pull myself together.   
" You're such a little slut, Cas, aren't ya?"  
"Yes..." I moaned, feeling his muscles tensing as he was fucking me with all he had. He pressed my knees to my chest to get a better angle, never breaking our eye contact. I was staring at his pupils growing bigger with every second. He was so beautiful like this, completely lost in pleasure only I can guarantee the way he really wanted.  
"Mine." He growled, bitting my bruised neck before he filled me with his sperm. He looked at me clearly suprised, because well - it was unusual.   
"I'm not done yet." I explained with an innocent smile when he saw my hand gripping the base of my cock to stop myself from coming. I still needed to talk to Sam as soon as possible.   
"Can you lay down, daddy? I wanna take care of you."  
Dean smirked, doing as I said and I momentarily crawled on top of him. I lowered myself on his hips and he slid back in easily, like it was exactly where he belonged. Which was correct. I placed in of my hands, the healthy one, on his stomach and started to ride him so rough my thighs were trembling and I felt the pain around my entrance. But that was okay.  
"Hey, slow down." He demanded harshly, but I pretend not to hear it. He tried to grab my hips and control my moves, but I knew he didn't have enough strenght after his orgasm. So I took my chance and after literally few moments I let myself finally come and he joined me just a minute later. He was breathing hard underneath my body and I could feel how he relaxed.  
"You better fucking listen to me next time..."   
He probably intended it to be a threat, but all I've heard was the mumbling of a sleepy child.

Dean indeed closed fell asleep soon after, so I could put on some clean clothes and headed to Sam's bedroom. I knocked once and opened the door without an invitation. He was sitting on the bed with some old book or something.  
"You wanted to talk about Dean, right?"  
"Yes... What is that?"  
I raised an eyebrow, sitting next to him. I reached for the thing in his hands, but he put it aside.   
"I'll show you, but let me take care if your hand first. It's swollen."  
I nodded, not very pleased, but I wasn't in the mood to argue. Beside, he was right. My thumb looked like a red shit. He set it in the right place without a warning which was actually good, because I didn't have time to slap his head. I only hissed when he was finished and he chuckled.  
"I thought you like pain."  
"I like when Dean is the reason, so not in that case. Now show me."  
"This is my journal from when I was a kid. Everything is in there and I hope you won't use it against him. Dean is my brother, so I'll do whatever it takes to keep him safe."  
"I can give you my blessing to kill me if I hurt him. Will you finally give me that?"  
He sighed before giving me the journal. I touched the leather cover, feeling slightly excited. The whole story of Dean's childhood was in my hands. I was very curious what's in there, at the same time I knew I'll probably use my whole self-control not to ripped John throat right after reading this. I wasn't sure if I could do it, but I opened it up anyway.


	15. Fifteen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really know what to write here. So enjoy! Kudos and comments will be also appreciated.

_October 1986_  
Dad came back home angry and smelled like a whiskey. He told me to stay in my room when he took Dean outside to supervise his training, but I could watch them from the window. He was yelling Dean should be long a big enough to take care of me and family buisness, whatever that means. Dean always takes care of me, so I don't know why dad was so mad.  
He bring some dogs from the truck and tied them to a tree, and give Dean his favourite knife. I started crying, because they were so afraid and Dean was afraid too. He knew I was watching, because he asked dad to do something else instead. I wanted a dog since I can remember.  
Dad slapped him on the face so hard he fell on the ground and kicked him in stomach. The dogs were barking loud like they already knew. And then Dean stood up slowly, moved closer and ripped they throats one by one. I can see he was crying too, because he looked back to meet my gaze like he was apologising. His face was covered in blood when dad said " Good job, son".

 _February 1987_  
Dean left me alone one time in the evening. He said he need to steal some food for my dinner. I told him I wasn't hungry, but he didn't listen.  
Dad came before he was back, but he just said Dean need some vacation. 

_March 1987_  
I haven't seen Dean for three weeks. Dad didn't want to tell me where he is. He brought him back home on Friday, but I couldn't believe it was Dean. He was pale and skinny, he didn't look like someone who was on vacation. He's having nighmares at night and he's crying when I was turning lights off. When I asked him where he was, he broke the mirror with his bare fist and told me not to talk about this ever again. Dad started to teach him how to use a gun.

 _July 1987_  
Dean recevied his first gun and dad forced him to shot some homeless man when they thought I was asleep in the car.

 _October 1987_  
Dad hit Dean so hard he was almost unconscious when he heard him saying " I love you" to me. He said not to use this words if we don't wanna end up dead.

 _December 1987_  
It was our first Christmas without dad. Dean was acting weird, he was constantly checking doors and windows. I told him no monster would get us and he said the only monster I should be afraid of is our dad.  
I saw him crying in the shower, he was praying and calling mom to at least save me from this. I don't know what this is.

 _May 1988_  
Dad was drunk all the time and he was beating Dean regularly few times a week. Dean told me to stay in our room when that was happening, he said he doesn't want me to see how weak he is.

 _January 1989_  
It was Dean's ten birthday when dad told him it's time to become a real man. He brought him to the woods while a was waiting in the car. I saw a deep hole in the ground and dad pushed Dean inside. He then started to bury it with the ground and Dean was screaming so loud I had to covered my ears. When I looked there the second time the hole was gone and Dean was nowhere to be seen. I started crying, but dad told me to shut up. He said Dean have to go through this or he's not worth being his son. We were sitting there for so long I thought Dean won't be back, that I will never see him again. But I saw his hand, covered in dirt and then he crawled onto the grass, desperately gasping for air. I wanted to run and hug him, but dad said real men don't cuddle.

 _June 1989_  
I called dad an asshole and Dean took my beating.  
He said he will protect me forever.

 _August 1989_  
Dean told dad he will kill people if he let me go to normal school. And he did.

 _May 1993_  
I asked Dean to show me how to kiss. His face turned red and he said I'm too young for this. But I told him about how I saw him with this pretty girl in Impala. They were rubbing against each other or something, her skirt was lift up and Dean's hands were under her top. They sounded really funny. Dean told me to shut up and stop spying, but he showed me anyway. It was a nice feeling and his lips were very soft. I decided I will kiss many girls if they have lips like Dean.

 _November 1993_  
Dad started to take Dean to bars and on some trips, while I was in school. They are talking about some family buisness all the time and Dean doesn't want to tell me what it means. I don't like when Dean's coming home drunk, he's puking in the bathroom or singing terrible songs the whole night. Last night he hugged me when dad passed out on the couch and told me someday I'll have a life I deserve.

 _Ferbuary 1995_  
I saw dad's face on the news and they said he had a partner. I knew it was Dean.  
They've killed five women in New York when I was on a school trip.

 _May 1995_  
Dad decided it would be fun to beat Dean with a heated rod. I covered his back with ice when dad was done and give him a cold shower. Dean's not crying anymore, he has this blank expression and empty eyes the whole time. He stopped praying and gave me the only picture of mom he had. He's sleeping with a knife and gun under his pillow.  
I signed up for a first aid course.

 _August 1998_  
Dean told me dad won't live with us from now and I couldn't be more glad. I hoped Dean will go back to the way he used to be, but he's still going to bars, carrying his weapons everywhere and sleeping with some random girls. I know he's doing something illegal to make money.  
And I know people are dying because of him and dad.

 _June 1999_  
Some girl in a the supermarket took me as Dean's boyfriend, when he tried to flirt with her. I laughted so hard Dean had to dragged me to Impala and he was red like hell. He told me he will never go for a shopping with me, but I know it's not true.  
Later that night he kissed my forehead when I was almost asleep and said he will do anything to keep me safe. He apologised for everything and I hugged him, because he's my big brother and I love him. I wonder if he knows.

 _November 1999_  
Dean is meeting with some older woman and I saw him wearing lacy panties. They were pink, but he looked kind of good. She probably thought that too, because she threw him onto the bed and they were having a really noisy sex the whole night.

 _November 2002_  
I'm living in Stanford. Dean asked me to change my last name, because the FBI is looking for him and John. He caused a fire in our house and now the press thinks Sam Winchester is dead. So now I have fake IDs and special cell phone to contact with Dean.  
I miss spending time with my brother. 

_July 2005_  
I proposed to Jess and she said yes. Dean congratulated me, but I heard how sad he really was. He probably thinks I'm not going to see him anymore and maybe he's right. I don't want to tell Jess about my family, she doesn't need this crap in her life.

 _April 2008_  
Dean called me for the first time in three years. He told me he needs to see me as soon as possible. I send him my adress, because Jess is out of town. He showed up with an eight year old boy whom is apparently son of Dmitri Novak. I knew mom is dead because of this man, but the boy is so cute and terrified I can't be angry at him. Dean said he will take care of him, but I have to teach him some English first. So I did and they rent a room in the motel near my house.

 _June 2008_  
Jess doesn't suspect anything. Castiel talks very good in English at this point, he's really fast learner. I'm worried Dean will hurt him, but he seems to be in love with this kid. Maybe a little bit too much. I saw Dean kissing him and boy didn't seem to know what is happening. I have no idea what to do.

 _July 2008_  
I told Jess I have cases in different cities, but the truth is I'm spending more and more time with Dean and Cas. Kid is adorable and so innocent. I tried to talk to Dean about they relationship, but he won't listen to me. He's touching the boy almost all the time, everytime he got a chance and Castiel is never complaining. He asked me once why Dean is doing that and I told him it's because he loves him. What else could I say? How you explain eight year old boy he's being molested? He grinned and my heart broke at this sight.

 _March 2010_  
Dean and Castiel came back from they visit in Europe. They had to go on vacation, because Castiel was constantly crying he hates everything american. I saw hickeys on boy's neck and I felt really sick. I've never thought my brother would hurt a child like this. But then a saw the small hickey below Dean's jaw and it was somehow worse, because it means Castiel wasn't fighting back. It reminds me the way John was training Dean to become a killer. Except it's worse, because Dean hated John for doing that and Cas is the opposite.  
I heard his soft voice in the middle of the night when we were in a motel room, asking Dean to play. Minutes later I heard his moans and I won't ever forget this sound.

 _December 2010_  
Jess died in fire and I can swear I smelled gasoline on Castiel's clothes.


	16. Sixteen.

I felt my whole body trembling with fury. Sure thing I should be glad in some way, because I would never met Dean if not John Winchester. But what the actual hell was he thinking? I didn't think leaving him bloodless will be enough punishment for this caricature of a father. I had to make him pay for everything he's done to my poor baby. Not to mention things he did when Sam wasn't around.  
"Calm down a little bit, Cas. He's not worth it."  
"I don't think I wanna know why you intend to look out for him in the first place, but I _won't_ calm down until he's dead. Unless... " I looked at Sam and then realisation hit me hard. " You wanted exactly this, didn't you? That's why you showed me your journal and now you pretend you're just worried."  
Oh, that was good. I've always knew Sammy was no better than me or Dean, he was just too afraid to admit it. I had to acknowledge he was really smart, he almost got me there. But I don't like anyone lying to me. So I decided Sam deserves to suffer, but not at that moment. First things first.  
I smirked a little, because Sam was staring at the floor clearly ashamed. People are truly adorable, when they do that. It's not like I'm judging him or anything. I don't really care if he wants to kill his father or fuck him into the mattress. Who am I to make any comments?  
"I... He hurt Dean." He finally said, voice weak and broken. I kneel behind him, placing my head on his shoulder.  
"Sammy, listen to me." My hands find its way to his muscular chest, while I was whispering sweetly into his ear. "If you want me to kill, all you have to do is ask. It's not smart to make me furious, believe me. You should know how it ends."  
I felt his body tensing and that's how I recognised he knew I was talking about Jess. She was a sweet girl really. I saw her only once, when Sam agreed to take care of me for few hours while Dean was gone. He told her some lie which she believed in, but I didn't like the way she was looking at me. And I knew Dean didn't like her being with Sammy even if he has never said that loud. So I went to their house as soon as I found out Sam's at work and I give her a curare when she was asleep, which I brought with me from Russia. It worked almost immediately, causing her muscles to be completely useless so she had to lay there and watch me covering her body with gasoline. First, however, I set fire in the kitchen, because police is stupid and lazy as fuck. Then I played with her, I almost wanted to record her screams, because they were so nice.  
"Cas, don't tell Dean I asked you for it, okay?"  
"Of course, silly. I have to protect your image of the good one."  
I stood up with then intention to leave, but then something else came to my mind.  
"He's having blackouts, you know why?"  
"Well, probably because of John. He had them when we were little. I guess he doesn't remember half of the things John did or forced him to do. It's like a defense mechanism."  
I clenched my jaw to stop myself from going to the guests room occupied by the man who's going to be dead in a few days. Or maybe _a little bit_ longer. I knew if I met him then, I would kill him with my bare hands and he wouldn't suffer as much as I wanted him to. There's so many ways to torture him, I had no clue which one should I choose. So I chose all of them.

I went back to Dean's bedroom and laid next to him. I was aware he woke up the second I walked in, but pretend I didn't notice. He pulled me close into a bruising kiss and I parted my lips for him to give him full access.  
"You're wearing too much clothes."  
He ripped my shirt (which he did far often than he should) and slid down my pants. I wasn't wearing an underwear which caused him to chuckle. Then he looked me in the eyes and we were staring at each other through the darkness.  
"I had to pee and then I asked Sam to fix my hand." I answered unasked question, because Dean for some reason preferred when I was explaining myself from my own will. He tensed and gripped my butt with his fingers.  
"I don't like that you were alone with Sam in the middle if the night."  
"I won't do it again, I didn't know." Of course I knew, but who gives a shit?  
I kissed him gently, before he flipped me around and pressed my back to his body. He bit my neck and I groaned.  
"Don't leave this bed unless I say so, understand? "  
"Yes, daddy. 'Didn't mean to make you upset."  
I covered his hand on my stomach with my own. He wrapped his leg around mine, caging me completely to the bed so I couldn't move even if I wanted to. But that was okay. I let myself relax, purring every time his lips brushed sensitive skin on my back. I was sure he's too tired to do more than this, he's not a teenager after all. But that night it was fine, I wasn't planning on getting anything else anyway. I just wanted to feel our bodies touching.  
"I really love you. Only you, forever."  
"Yeah... I know, angel."  
"And I know you love me too."  
He kissed my hair and I felt him smiling.  
"I do."

It was five thirty in the morning when I woke up. Dean was holding me so tight I could barely breath normally. He was rubbing against my ass, I could feel his rock hard erection pressing at my entrance as he tried to slid inside. He giggled when I whimpered pathetically.  
"What's so funny?"  
"Oh, nothing, baby." He whispered, sticking all the way in without any effort and I wondered for how long he was awake.  
"It's five in the fucking morning, Dean." I snarled, closing my eyes. Of course I needed more than two hours of sleep, but Dean clearly had other plans. "Can't you jerk off or something? I want to sleep."  
"Then sleep, I don't care."  
"Are you fucking kidding me? Get off!"  
"I love when you grumpy like that." He grabbed my throat, rolling his hips in furious pace. I arched my back and try to kicked him away somehow, but he digged his fingers into my hip to keep me in place.  
"Dean, stop it!"  
"You sure you want me to stop?" He brutally thrust back, hitting my prostate and how much as I tried, I couldn't stop a loud moan. "That's what I thought."  
He did it everytime from then and I finally gave up. It was no point in fighting if he wasn't listening, so I could as well enjoy the moment. His balls were slapping hard against my thighs and I felt his hot breath on my neck. He was fucking me for what seemed like forever and I was really suprised he lasted that long. We finished almost in the same time, then he pulled himself out of my body and pushed my away that I almost fell on the floor.  
"Get a shower and let me know when you're done."  
I stood up, watching as he curled under the quilt. He winked at me, pretending he hasn't just treated me like some cheap whore.  
"I fucking hate you."  
"Love you too, Cas."


	17. Seventeen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's slowly going to the great final, I think it will have 30 or so chapters + the really long epilogue (maybe I'll write it as a second). I already wrote the ending and I can't wait to find out what you think!  
> You can also give me some prompts if you want some one shots, I'll be happy to write it as well.  
> Enjoy! (It's a really unfortunate word considering what's in that chapter.)

It took my four days to get everything ready. I was spending most time in our dungeon which John fortunately didn't know about. Sam pretended our night talk didn't happen and I also kept my mouth shut. I didn't want to make Dean angry, because somehow vision of John Winchester chained and covered in blood made me more horny than usual. If that's even possible. Dean did everything he could to satisfy me, had me at least three times a day, but I don't think he could have even if he was twenty years younger. I was like some fucking animal during heat, so I've decided to try something else.  
"I wanna fuck some girl." I said one time while Dean's fingers were burried deep inside my ass. He looked at me with eyes wide opened and then I realised I could pick a better time to have this conversation. He took his hand away in one paintful movement and then I felt a hard punch on the ribs before he wrapped the collar around his wrist.  
"What did you just say?" There was a pure rage painted all over his face along with something like... Fear? I don't really know, I'm not familiar with this emotional shit. He tighten the silver chain so much I felt my skin breaking in some places and I thought that was the moment I was about to die. I wasn't afraid of dead of course, but my body chose to fight anyway. I started kicking him with all I had, but it didn't caused any real damage to Dean's muscular and far more trained body. I tried to beg him to stop, but no words came out of my mouth. I heard blood speeding with all the oxygen left to safe my brain from shutting itself down. And when I was sure I'll die there, naked and covered in come, he pushed me onto the floor and put his clothes back on. "Go to your room."  
"W-what?" I hoarsed so quietly I wasn't sure if he could hear. Turns out he could, because I felt the sharp pain on my cheek the second after.  
"Go to your fucking room! Now!"  
His voice was so rough, I knew better than to argue. I collected my clothes from the floor and ran to my room as fast as my trembling legs allowed me, which wasn't fast at all. I had to prop up against the wall to keep myself from falling. What he was even thinking? This damn jealousy is utterly riddiculous and it's driving me insane. What, I will leave him just like that for some fucking whore on the street? The truth is I don't even _like_ girls and he's fully aware of it, but I knew Dean wouldn't let me anywhere near some other boy or a man. So if I couldn't have a piece of ass, I wanted a nice pussy. Or maybe not even nice, whatever's tight enough would work. 

I was laying on my bed for long hours, not really sure what to do. I wasn't in the mood for a bath and I was so weak I probably wouldn't make it to the bathroom anyway. So I was there still naked, sweaty and dirty. But then I've heard the footsteps and something else, something really weird before Dean walked in. He has this murderous eyes, breath fast and irregular and he had - _Oh my god or whoever else is there_ \- young girl gagged and tied up. She had a dirty blond hair, tanned skin and green, scared eyes. She looked a lot like Dean, exept her eyes weren't green enough and she didn't had any freckles or at least her make up made me think so. Dean threw her onto the bed right next to me, pointing a gun at her forehead to stop her from jerking.  
" I'm gonna untie you and you stay still and don't touch him or I'll kill ya." He growled dangerously and she nodded through tears streaming down her face. She had black marks under her eyes from the mascara dissolved. He pressed the knife to the rope, letting her free and then removed a gag from her mouth.  
"Please... Please, my parents will look out for me... Please don't kill me."  
"Oh, shut up!" He slapped her and when she cried, my inner batteries were suddenly full. I jumped to wrap my hands around his neck and kissed him deeply.  
"Don't hit her face." I whispered, licking Dean's saliva from my lips. "Is she a virgin?"  
"Answer him." He kicked her, pulling me close with a hand possesively around my waist.  
"Y-yes. Please don't, I won't tell anyone, just let me go. Please don't! "  
She was crying for real now, body shaking uncomfortably more and more with every second. I ordered Dean to undress her, I didn't want to touch her too much - just enough to do my job. He ripped her short dress and then her panties as well. She was looking quite nice, I suppose. Typical body of well groomed teenager, she was filigree and completely hairless. Which actually shocked me, I was used to dark hair decorating Dean's crotch. I didn't like her as much as I hoped I would, but I was still rock hard from her fear and this whole situation.  
"Dean, I love you so damn much." I breathed, kissing him one more time while pushing my cock inside her dry pussy. When we broke, I gripped her hips, mimicking Dean's action from everytime we had sex. I slid all the way in straight away, because I wasn't feeling like preparing her. And she was so terrified it wouldn't help her anyway, so why bother? She screamed when I started moving and it was like a music in my ears. She was soft and warm, her body clenching on the sudden intrusion as she tried to pushed me away. I ignored her, thrusting hard, but slow to enjoy this wonderful feeling. It would be much better with a boy, but it was still good though.  
"Hey, I told you not to touch him, you bitch!" Dean cut her stomach, causing even louder sound coming out of her mouth, the other hand caressing my buttock. I moaned, smell of blood going straight to my erection as I was rolling hips in this lunatic rate like she wasn't here at all. And she really wasn't, because it was never about her and only my pleasure was truly important. She stopped fighting, fully submitting and I saw so much pain in her eyes, realisation of the unavoidable well written all over her face. Dean was going to kill her, whatever he said before didn't matter. I came hard, filling her body with seed which maybe would cause her to give birth to my baby if she lived fairly long. But she didn't.  
"Shot her, she's not worth any more time." I said as I was calming my breath. I walked over the sink and took a clean towel to clean myself up. I still needed a shower or bath, but I hoped Dean will help me with this. I was having a open wounds on my throat because of him, so he owed me that. By the time I was washing my face, she was already laying lifeless on the floor - seems like Dean didn't wanted my bed to get messy. I turned around, smiling at him innocently.  
"Was it better?" He simply asked, looking into my eyes. I giggled like a child for two reasons: one - because it was really funny he thought that, two - cause I knew how much he likes when I'm being childish.  
"No. I only got off, because you were touching my butt, daddy. I don't understand why you like them."  
"Well, I'm happy you don't. Come, I'll give you a bath and clean your neck. How're your ribs?"  
"Hurt." I whined, pouting my lips like a little boy whom someone stole his favourite toy. When Dean noticed, he was right next to me in a second and picked me up and carry me to the bathroom bridal style. I was curled into his chest, sniffing familiar scent of leather and murder as it was the most beautiful perfume.  
"I'll take care of you, my pretty little angel."  
"And then we'll kill your father. "  
His body tensed a little, but he kissed me and bit my lip.  
"Yeah. Then we kill my father."


	18. Eighteen.

Dean put me into the bathtub filled with hot water and bubbles. I giggled, grinning at him, because he hasn't done that since I was ten. I felt like a child again - missing the fact that I'm actually still a child - when he took a soft sponge and started fondling my skin. I leaned into his touch, looking at him intensively with already half closed eyes.  
"You're so small and adorable, you know that? My little baby, my precious angel..." He whispered, brushing sensitive skin behind my ear with his lips. I giggled _again_ (seriously, what the hell?), feeling a nice warmth growing inside my belly. He was never so sweet to me, calling me pet names was kind of normal, but not followed by gentle touch and soothing tone of his voice. His hand was caressing my thigh now, tracing little circles under the water. I really started to feel small, my body trembling with need and love, and... God, I was so lost. Dean was my father. My protector. My lover. The love of my life, the centre of my Universe. I wrapped my hands around his neck in my usual manner, pulling him even closer than he was before. He kneeled right next to the tub with one hand on my back while the other moved to clean my wounded throat. I let out a quiet cry, not quite expecting it would hurt this much.  
" Sshh... It's okay, pretty boy. I'm calm now, I won't hurt you." He was kissing my face to help me forget about the pain. "I'm so sorry, baby. I'm so sorry, it's okay."  
"Say you love me, Dean. Please, I know you do. Say it, just this once."  
I was scratching skin on his neck, pressing my forehead to his own. I glared into emerald green, praying it won't make him angry. I just needed to hear it, only three words enough to free my mind and give me strenght for the thing I was about to do in just a few hours. I hold my breath for so long I thought I will faint from lack of air.  
"I love you, Cas, of course I do. I love you so fucking much it's killing me." He grabbed my chin and kissed me deeply, his tongue sliding inside my mouth without any efford. My hands were suddenly everywhere all over his body, cursing him for wearing so many clothes. But he understood immediately, pulling his shirt off and went back to kissing, in the same time he was undoing his jeans. When he was done, he stood up and undress himself completely. Then he took me in his arms, placing his strong palms under my butt as I pressed my heels in the back of his muscular thighs. He lowered me a bit and I felt the tip of his cock sliding inside of me. I moaned into his mouth, never breaking the kiss even for a second. My hand found its way to his hair, tugging them hard the way I knew he secretly likes. He gripped my hips tighter, doing all the work for both of us. When he finally hit this sensitive place, it was too much and I had to burried my face in the crook of his neck to muffle my screams. I bit his skin there while his breath became sharp and unsteady, which gave me the hint he enjoyed it equally as I did.  
"I love you, baby... You're my everything." He breathed and it was enough to bring me to the edge. I came untouched, moaning his name into his ear and he joined me just a few thrusts later. He delicately pulled out, but instead of putting me down he wrapped one hand around my back and hugged me. I've never felt safer in my entire life than in this particular moment.  
"I love you too, Dean."

We had a shower together and after that Dean help me put my clothes on. He kissed every bruise on my body, repeating quiet apologies over and over again. Then he hand me his knife, wrapping my fingers around the hilt and locked his eyes on mine.  
"Sure you wanna do it?"  
"Yes." I smiled, brushing his cheeks with my lips. "Be ready."  
I saw him nodding before I went to the John's bedroom. He was sleeping peacefully, hand hidden under the pillow where I know he was keeping his gun. I slinked towards him quietly like a cat and slid the knife right into his biceps through the blanket and shirt. He opened his eyes straight away, sending me a murderous gaze like he was fully expecting it would be me to interrupt his rest.  
"Hello, John. It's time to wake up." I said sweetly, smiling as he pointed a gun into my heart and pulled a trigger. Nothing happened and I saw the confusion painted all over his face. "Oh, I should mention that Dean removed the bullets."  
"What the fuck you think you're doing, huh? You think you can turn my son against me?! Dean would never do that!" He took the knife off his body and threw it away as he stood up to confront me. I could say he was truly angry and scared his little soldier has actually done something like this. I laughed, pulling the smaler blade, my blade from my sock and pressing it into his stomach, careful not to hit any vital points. He only hissed, probably used to this kind of pain. I didn't mind, I was sure I will make him scream later. I stabbed him a couple of times so fast he really couldn't do anything, his mind clearly still hazed with sleep. When I was done, I pushed him onto the bed and called Dean. He showed up the next second, avoiding his father's furious gaze.  
"Why isn't he moving?" He asked, shocked about the fact John wasn't even fighting.  
"I kept my knife in poison for some time. Tie him up before it stops working."  
Dean opened his mouth to say something, but changed his mind. He knew there's no point in questioning my decision, I wasn't a scared kid for a long time now. He wrapped a thick rope around John's ankles and wrists, before we went down to the dungeon. And that's where the fun has started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this being so short, but I hope that sweet Dean was enough recompense. Thank you for reading and all these kudos!


	19. Nineteen.

I asked Dean to leave. I wanted to stay alone with John, ripped him apart nice and slow, the way I certainly like the most. I will call him to admire my work later, when the damage will be so big he'll have problem believing it's still his father. He gave me a kiss goodbye, bitting my lip just gently, but enough to marked his territory. I was his and he was mine, that was always the deal. I knew he's warning me not to get too much pleasure from torturing John, because only one thing should be leaving me satisfied.  
"Now, would you like to tell something? I may not give you this chance again." I said with a wide grin, tracing patterns on his skin with a cold knife. I looked into his eyes, stepping right into his personal space, seeing that well, his personal space was mine now. He was almost naked already, Dean in his jealousy forced me to leave his boxers on, but that was it. It was clear he's not young, his abs hidden under a thin layer of fat and face covered in wrinkles. He wasn't as handsome as Dean, but not ugly either and I would definitely use him in some way if I hadn't hate him so freaking much. The eldest Winchester just sent me an angry look.  
"I don't have anything to say to you, slut."  
"Oh, come on, Johnny. That’s not an insult. You should see how much of a slut I am for your soldier's cock. He's fucking me so good, you know? Hard and perfect until he doesn't remember anyone, but me exist on this world. "  
"Shut up."  
I giggled, drawing a line right above his collarbone. Smell of his blood caused my mind to work on the high speed, like I was on drugs or something.  
"Wanna know the best part?" I leaned in, whispering sweetly into his ear. "Dean said he loved me. He said I'm his everything and he would do anything for me."  
"You think I believe in this shit?"  
His body tensed and I knew I found his weak point. It was truly adorable, seeing someone so confused and betrayed. He really thought Dean is his toy, when in fact he was mine. Because I was the one to give him everything he needed for the most of his life, things John Winchester wasn't even capable of.  
"Oh, I know you do. I wouldn't lie to you, what's the point? You'll be dead anyway. "

I was stabing and cutting him for hours. His body covered in wounds, but not deep enough to make him bleed out. I wanted to save his blood for later and besides, it would be too easy. It was already late, both of us sweaty and tired, so I decided to get some sleep. But firstly I had to make sure John won't have this comfort. I called Dean and he showed just a few moments later, once again doing everything to avoid his father's gaze. It was sweet he was still scared, really. I felt the urge to force him into hurting John, so he knew he's safe with me, but I threw it away. Sleep first, fun later.  
"Put him into salt." He took a look at man's body and then at me.  
"You don't want to argue with me, do you daddy?" I asked innocently, but there was a murderous threath under that childish tone and he knew this.  
"Of course not, angel."  
He smiled weakly, doing exactly what I said and John couldn't fight a scream this time. It was more like a loud growl, but still worked well for my ears. I was listening for a while, before I turned my head to look at Dean. I put a thumb into my mouth, just a little bit and started sucking like a baby, knowing he has other associations.  
"M'sleepy, daddy."  
"Why don't we put you in bed then, huh?" He kissed my forehead, putting me into his arms and carrying all the way towards his bedroom. I chuckled as sweetly as I possibly could, wriggling my hips.  
"That's not my room, daddy."  
"Oh, that's because it's our playtime, my baby boy. And I want you in bed with me."  
I whined when he throw me onto the mattress so I was laying on my stomach and took my pants off without another word. He then slid my boxers just enough to get access to my butt and I heard the jeans being undone. He took me hard, with no lube or preparation and it was almost like the first time except we were on bed, not the cold floor. And his zipper was scratching my ass with every thrust. Headboard was slamming against the wall and whole room was filled with Dean's quickened breath and my muffled moans from were he pressed my face into the pillow. He came first, filling me full and fucking me through it until I was screaming in pleasure. My cock twitched and I felt a sticky mess underneath and all over my stomach. He stood up and remove his clothing before he laid on the bed.  
"Come here."  
I crawled towards his arms, curling into a ball right by his side and closed my eyes. I was almost asleep when I heard his voice, so quiet I wondered if he didn't want me to hear him at all.  
"Did you like it?"  
"I did. But I'll like it better tomorrow, because you will help me." I purred into his ear, feeling his muscles tense. I was sure he loves me so much he won't say no, even with every part of his brain yelling at him to do it. He just couldn't, seeing that it would cause me to leave. He knew I hated not getting what I want and one of the things why I was still with him was this little detail - he _always_ gives me what I want. Sooner or later. He pulled me closer, carresing my hip and that's how I found out he will fuck me at least one more time to give vent to bad emotions.  
" If that's what you wish, Cas." Next thing I know is that his lips were on mine, hot and demanding. And I let him have me in every way possible, because he definitely needed to relax before our next day with his father. Well, I could use some too.

What I haven't thought of, was a light knock few hours later. I instinctively took my knife, which was kind of stupid considering the only people who knew about that bunker were inside and John couldn't free himself for sure.  
"Come in."  
It was Sam, obviously. He lifted his hands in surrender, moving closer to the bed and taking good look at his brother. Dean was laying on his back, eyes closed - he was almost unconscious from pleasure with me atop of him. He had a few... Okay, more than few bite marks from where I was sucking blood out of his body. Sam managed to sent me a disapproving look before I covered us with a blanket.  
"Are fucking my sleeping brother? Really?"  
"What do you want, Sam?" I snarled, stroking Dean's cheek with my fingers. He was mumbling something, which means he actually fell asleep and now I was going to be left completely unsatisfied.  
"Can you first... You know, get off him maybe?"  
"Sammy, I'm kinda busy, so... If you don't intend to fuck me, I will advise you to tell what the hell do you want from me right now."  
"I... Errm, I wanted to ask about John."  
"He's great, be dead after I hurt him enough. You can come and watch tomorrow. Anything else? Because if not, then get out."  
"Alright, alright, Jeez. Just don't kill him, okay?"  
I growled at him and he left immediately after that, leaving my to finish what he has interrupted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be more torture soon, don't worry. (How sick as it sounds.) I really appreciate any feedback, it really helps me with writing. So thank you! You're all great!


	20. Twenty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I strongly advise not to read this one if you find age play and/or regression disgusting or offensive in any way.  
> And if not, then enjoy!

"Daddy, wake up."  
I threw a blanket and his pillow on the floor, because I was getting bored of waiting until he wakes on his own. Seriously, I was up and laying there for almost two hours! And I am not a very patient person. But Dean just groaned and digged fingers deeper into the skin on my waist, so I couldn't move at all. And that made me freaking furious. I pinched his exposed nipple the hardest I managed and he immediately opened his eyes. He slapped me enough to leave a bruise later and then sat on my stomach to pull the chain which I've never took off even for a minute.  
"Make things clear, okay Cas? Right here _I am_ in charge, not you. This is my bedroom and you are mine to do whatever I want. So if I want to sleep, what would you do?"  
I don't know how he expected me to answer, because all that came out from my mouth was a grunt. I put my hands around his wrists to let him know it's too much, but I think he just wanted to made me unconscious. And he did, in fact. I felt the fresh wounds on my throat bleeding again, blood soaking into the sheet and mattress. My body was completely out of control, I couldn't do anything no matter how much I wanted to. And the last thing I saw before the darkness was Dean leaning in to kiss me. _How fucking sweet._

I came back to life unbelievably quick and found out, not without a suprise, that I was alone. That was really unusual. Dean was gone and I noticed my knife is gone too, so I put one of Dean's shirt before storming to look out for him. I was sure he didn't go to John by himself, so something had to happen - but what? I heard Dean's voice in the library and I immediately directed my steps there.  
Sam was pinned to the book-shelf with blade pressed to his throat. His eyes were wide open and I saw Dean right in front of him. He had split lip, breathing hard and they were both sweaty, which means they were probably fighting. Sam locked his eyes on me after a minute or so and Dean also turned his head to look at me.  
"Cas, tell him. I didn't do anything, I swear to God!"  
"What is going on here? What the hell are you doing, Dean? Drop this fucking knife!"  
I found him by my side next second and I felt sharp pain on my cheek, his strength sent me straight to the floor.  
"Dean, listen to me--"  
"Shut up! I know he was in my room last night, you fucking whore."  
"Yes, but--"  
"When else did you two meet, huh? How long he's been screwing you? Bet you would let anyone have you if I didn't keep you inside this damn bunker!"  
Oh great, that was exactly what I needed. I couldn't help a laugh - I really tried, but it was just so riddiculous! Sam was probably the last person I would ever slept with, he was completely not my type. Too gentle and nice, I hate this kind of man. Especially in bed... Well, at least that's what I think, I don't really have any comparison and I don't want to change that. I mean, I want, but I would never in my life do anything to hurt Dean. And I knew he was always afraid I will leave him first chance I get.  
Apparently he didn't find it as funny as me though, because he hit me again, much stronger this time. I felt dizzy for a minute, odd high sound ringing in my ears, but I tried to look at him the whole time.  
"Dean, are you fucking stupid?! No one has _ever_ touched me except you. And no one will!"  
" Well, I don't believe you. You're spending a lot of time together lately."  
I stood up, moving so close our bodies were almost touching. I looked into his beautiful eyes, filled with so much fear and I had to fight the need to kiss him right there and then.  
"Because your brother is worried about you and so am I. I love you, Dean... I love you so much. " I pressed my lips to his just for a moment. "Now give me back my knife and say sorry."  
He did as I've told him, dropping his head in clearly ashamed gesture. I sent Sam a meaningful look to let him know the argument is over. I saw he wanted to say something, but my quiet growl convinced him it's not a very good idea. Instead, he patted his older brother on the back, telling it's nothing to be worry about. Then he left.  
"I don't want you to be with him without my presence."  
"Okay, daddy. I didn't wanna make you angry." I answered, once again imitating child's voice. I started to like this, it was far better than I imagined. I loved pretending to be innocente and cute, when the in reality I was a complete opposite. He caressed my bruised cheek, placing one hand on my butt.  
"Good. You are very good boy. You know what good boys do?" I chuckled sweetly, shaking my head no. Of course, I knew exactly what he meant, but it was just funnier that way. He forced me to dropp on my knees and unzipped his pants. "Just do what I say, you understand? "  
"Yes, daddy."

He pulled himself out and told me to open my mouth, which I did without a second thought. He gripped my hair and thrusted right into my mouth and I took him all with no effort at all. He's done it so many times I get used to it. There was no reduced tariff when it comes to sex with Dean, even if I was still only fifteen. It had to be how he wanted and I was totally fine with that.   
"Lick it, baby." And so I did. I gently teased the tip of his cock with my tongue, tasting precum which was already leaking from it. He moaned quietly and I saw him closing his eyes. "Yeah... Yeah, you doing great, angel."  
He let me do my work for only a minute or even not before he started fucking my mouth. _Hard._ It didn't bother me though, I knew he has this control issues.  
" You're so good, baby boy... I'm gonna come in your sweet mouth, you want that?"  
I purred around him, locking my eyes with his own as he filled my throat with his sperm. He pressed my face into his crotch as I was sucking the best I could to make sure I haven't missed a single drop. I didn't dare to move, just waiting for him to be done. When he finally let me go, he stroked my scul where he almost tear out my hair. I leaned into his touch like I always do, because he's the love of my life.  
"You were perfect, Cas. I'm so proud of you." I took his hand and he helped me stand up, before placed my head on his chest. He dressed himself up, kissing my forehead and I could feel his smile against my skin. "Hungry?"  
"No, daddy. I just had my breakfast." I giggled, putting thumb into my mouth. That was kinda relaxing, I started to understand why kids do that all the time.  
"Cas... You have any idea how obscene you are right now?"  
I simply shook my head no, staring at him without a break and sucking my finger.  
"Want me to buy you some soother?" I smiled wide and titled my head on one side.  
"Would you?"  
"Sure I would. Come on, baby. We got work to do, don't we?"


	21. Twenty-one.

We made it to the kitchen where Sam was drinking his coffee. He was looking at something in his laptop, so he surely didn't see the possesive look Dean sent in my direction. I took a seat in the opposite side of the table, because I really wanted this to be over so we could have some fun with John. Another fight wouldn't help.   
"Want some food, Sammy?" Dean asked like nothing has ever happened. Sam muttered a quick no and turned his eyes to me only for a second. I smelled bacon and butter, but I was too busy staring at Sam to notice Dean was right beside me.  
"Stop, angel. Or I'll hit you much harder this time." He whispered into my ear and I almost fell out of the chair. His voice was soothing and calm, nothing alike earlier that morning. And in some way, it scared me. Sam closed a laptop and took a deep breath. His eyes were now locked on Dean's face as he was probably thinking carefully about choosing the right words.  
"Dean... You know, I think someone should take care of his neck and face. It looks pretty bad."  
"You're asking me to take him to the hospital? Know I can't do that, Sammy. They are looking for us."  
"Yeah, I know. I was thinking about Ruby actually. She's studying medicine after all."  
Dean was staring at me for a while, inspecting bruises he left. I was looking like a typical victim of home abuse, my face was half purple, lips split and throat covered in blood and forming scubs. Not that I care about my appearance.   
"Alright. But no talking without my permission and I don't want you to be alone with him."  
I giggled, crawling onto Dean's lap while Sam rolled his eyes. I found it truly adorable he was so jealous, even though it was in fact really dangerous and tiring. Since I first asked him to fuck me he decided I'm not allowed outside the bunker and sometimes outside my bedroom too. I didn't have the right to turn the TV on or use the computer, he even turned off the Internet in my phone. Well, he was actually giving me the phone when he was out and I was left alone. But God, sex with him was so worth it. I didn't miss time spending outside, because I have never done it often anyway. I didn't have any friends or colleagues and I didn't feel the necessity to find them. I completely abandoned any hope he will ever let me go to school. But at least I had Dean and Dean was everything I needed.   
"Do you realise how fucked up this is? What if you die during a hunt? He doesn't know how to function around other people, Dean."  
"Daddy won't die unless I say so. Nobody kills daddy, but me." I said bluntly, looking at Sam with my hands under Dean's t-shirt. I meant it, every word. I couldn't imagine any other way for Dean to die if it wasn't on the sharp end of my knife or my gun pointed at his head. I might be his possession, but he owed me this one. I wanted control over his life, I could give him anything from my body to my entire freedom, but this was mine. His death was mine, I will be the only one to see the light fading out of his eyes. I will see the last smile on his face, because I know how much he wanted to die as a young boy, but never had a courage to do anything about that feeling. I will be the one to kill him.  
"Well, I guess problem's solved then." Dean said with a laugh, grabbing my buttock under my skimpy clothing. I grinned, kissing his cheek and completely ignoring Sam's loud sigh.

We ate in absolute silence if not counting few moans that escaped my mouth, because Dean apparently thought fingering me during breakfast is a great idea. He didn't let me come, he just kept me on the edge long enough for me to start whimpering and moving impatiently on his lap. And then he pushed me away.  
"You wanted me to help you with John, didn't you?" He just said after seeing my utterly pissed off expression.  
"And that was your revenge or what!?"  
"Put some clothes on, he won't see you like this."  
I shook my head in disbelief, because what he did was totally unfair. You can just turn on a teenager and then leave him, expecting any self control. This is just not how it works. Luckily, I had John and he was enough to guarantee a lot of fun. Not the kind I craved, but still. Something is better than nothing at all.   
I dressed myself pretty quickly and then we went to the dungeon. John was laying unconscious in the barrel filled with salt and I could tell how red and damaged his skin was. I ordered Dean to wake him up and that's exactly what he did.  
"Rise and shine, Johnny! Had a good night?" I asked with a wide smile on my face, still ignoring the fact Dean has made me uncomfortably hard. "Ready for round two?"  
"You damned bitch, I will kill you."  
It supposed to be a threat probably, but his voice was so wrecked and weak I only laughted. I turned towards Dean, kissing him gently.  
"I think your father needs to learn a lesson, do you agree with me?" He only nodded, clearly intimidated by John's presence. He wasn't looking at me, but at his own feet which for some reason made me angry. I didn't like this version of him.  
"Take this and do what he's done to you." I handed him a heavy poker, forcing his fingers to wrap around it and he almost pushed me away. I saw in his eyes the helpless need to escape as far form there as his legs would let him, but I wasn't going to let him. He had to get his revenge first and I thought I would help if he's not strong enough to do it on his own. "I don't like to repeat myself."  
This was all it took to convince Dean that he should better listen to me. I've been watching how he beat his father hard and I mean really hard - it was this kind of strength that usually sends people straight into the grave. I had to stop him too soon, but he would kill him otherwise. And he hasn't suffered enough just yet.  
I wondered how's that even possible Dean has survived this kind of treatment.   
"That's enough... You did great, really great. " He pulled me into a brutal kiss accompanied by John's whining.   
"I love you, my sweet angel." He said loud, looking at John with the corner of his eye. I couldn't help a smirk because that was definitely what I was trying to accomplish.  
"Love you too, daddy. I want you to drain him out of his blood, very, very slowly. Can you do that for me?"  
"Whatever you want, baby. But you're gonna pay for this."  
I palmed his already forming erection through the thick material and placed a soft kiss on his collarbone.   
"I can pay you... How do you want me? On my knees right there in front of your father?" My grip became tighter and I could heard his breath becoming quicker. "Or maybe you want me to pretend I'm a baby again? I know you've dreamt about fucking me then. Wish you had, I would take your cock so nicely... "  
"Cas..." It was almost a moan as he rolled his hips towards my hand.  
"Oh, you'd like that, don't you? I'll do it for you, Dean. But you have to do what I want first."  
I took a step back, leaving him the way he left me after breakfast. I watched him fighting to control himself, not quite successfully. Then he slapped his father on the face and I realised John's been talking for some time.  
"Don't you dare say things like that about my Cas."  
He e said _my_ fucking _Cas_. How adorable is that?Soon after he pulled out the knife from his boot and shoved it into John's upper thigh. And I giggled, because he was defending my honor like some kind of knight.   
" Don't let him bleed to much." I simply ordered, already half way towards the door. He nodded ignoring completely the fact I was going upstairs where his baby brother was alone. Better for me.

I knocked and walk into Sam's bedroom only to found him with a hand deep inside the boxers he was wearing. His jeans were around his knees, face flushed and sweaty. If Dean saw me right then, I would be fucking dead. Along with Sammy.   
"Am I interrupting?" I asked with a smirk and I swear I've never seen anyone dressing up so fast.  
"C-Cas..."  
"Oh sweetie, you don't want to moan my name in Dean's house."  
He blushed, cheeks immediately turning red. I sat next to him, wanting to make him even more uncomfortable than he already was.  
"Why you're here?"  
"I need to get rid of you. Or, to be more precise, you need to get out today evening. "  
"And why is that?" He raised an eyebrow at me and I sent him an innocent smile.   
"Because your brother is going to fuck me when I'll be acting like a five year old."  
"What?"  
"You heard me. But you don't want to hear our little game."  
I started sucking my thumb and looked at him with puppy eyes, trying to prove my point. And the best way to do that was to demonstrate.   
"Y'wanna me to help you fi'ish?"   
"You are fucking sick, you know that? You're more fucked up than Dean!"   
He put on his jacket and boots once again in super speed and almost run to the door.  
"Bye, uncle Sammy!"   
He left and I went straight to my bedroom to get everything ready before Dean end with John.


	22. Twenty-two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's so short, but I wanted to give you something :)

By the time Dean was finishes, I have already been laying in my bed, wrapped in light blue quilt with clouds on it and chewing my soother. I smiled at him and hugged my teddy bear closer.  
"Hello, daddy."  
"Hey, baby, miss me?"  
He came closer to me, finally standing right next to the bed and taking off his clothes. They were sweaty and covered in John's blood.  
"Yes... Why are your clothes dirty, daddy?"  
"Daddy was at work, sweetie. Now close your eyes and try to sleep, okay? I'm gonna be there with you."  
I obediently close my eyes before I felt a wet kiss on my forehead. I giggled and curled into his naked body when he slid inside my bed. Then he pulled me closer and put his hand into my underwear.   
"What you're doing, daddy?"  
"Be quiet, angel. Don't wanna make daddy angry, do ya?"  
"No, I'm sorry."  
I placed my hand on his chest, feeling his finger brushing my entrance. He hold me by my hip as I was wriggling. And then he slapped me, grabbed my chin and forced my head up.  
"Look at me." I opened my eyes now full of tears and he took away my soother. "You will stay still or daddy will hit you, you understand? No crying."  
"But it tickles!"  
There was a sharp pain again, hard enough for me to felt dizzy. I totally forgot how much it turns him on to hurt me. But I decided not to move as I let my tears falling onto my cheeks.   
"Are you trying to make me mad, baby? " When there was no answer, he threw the bedclothes on the floor and pulled my boxers down. "I asked you a question."  
I covered my mouth with both hands and he hit my butt with a fucking leather belt. It hurt so bad, but this pain was even better than choking. Everytime he hit me, my crotch was rubbing against the mattress and I really had to fight with myself not to come right and then.  
"You've been a very bad boy, you know that?" He bit my neck and I couldn't help a loud whine. "If you don't answer, I will take your teddy."  
"I'm sorry, daddy! Don't take my teddy away." I cried, holding stuffed bear tight and looking at him with my best puppy eyes. He laughed, claiming my lips with his own.  
"Now we're going to play a little, alright? You have to behave or daddy will be really angry. And what happens when daddy's angry?"  
"Cassie hurt."  
"Yeah, Cassie will be badly hurt."  
He pushed his fingers into my mouth and told me to lick them which I did with sloppy movement like a was some kind of a virgin. Which actually was the whole point of this game.  And then they were suddenly in my hole, one by one. He took his time, but not too much though, because he was rather inpatient when it goes to my body. By the third finger I cirled my hips and screamed when he hit my sweet spot. I somehow managed to still use my childish voice, even though it took my all my strength not to break the character and just begged him to fuck me.  
"You like that?"  
"It f-feels funny, daddy. I don't wanna..." I cried, but I want him so much it hurt and, fortunately, I knew he want me as well. He placed himself on top of me, crushing me with his weight when I felt the head of his cock pressing into my butt. "Daddy, no! Stop... "  
"Shut up, angel or I will hit you with something heavy."   
Well, I couldn't miss that chance, could I? I whined, desperately trying to pushed him away even if that was not an option. He was taller, heavier and far more muscular than me. But I still pretended to try. Just then I felt something hitting the back of my head and my back. I almost lost consciousness right then, because that hurt so fucking bad, I couldn't remember of any other time he hit me this bad. I'm sure my head was bleeding and I wouldn't be able to stand up if he let me. But he didn't, he just pushed himself inside at once.  
"Will be a good boy now?" My voice was lost somwhere, so I just nodded lightly, dull pain all over my scul and spine. I haven't really noticed he was already moving, I found out only when he finished and pulled himself out. He dressed me up the way I was before and kissed my forehead which meant something between thank you and sorry. But I didn't give a shit, I felt like dying. "It will be alright, baby. It's nothing serious, I promise."  
He dried my cheeks, because apparently I must have been crying and he just let me lay there still on my stomach, and I thought this whole thing wasn't a goid idea. Well, at least the fighting part. I should have know better than to provoking him after all day with John. Such a stupid child.

Dean left me alone after a while, but I didn't feel like moving at all, so I spent the whole night still. It was probably about four in the morning when I saw Sam walking into my room. Which was surprising, I thought he's afraid of spending time with me alone. Especially in my bedroom in the middle of the night.  
"You'll be the death of me, you know that?" He seemed angry at me for some reason, when he sat beside me a touched my hair. I growled, because only Dean can touch me there. "Oh calm down, for Christ's sake. I'm just checking your head."  
"It hurts. " I whispered, part of me praying for him not to hear that. I was some sort of chic, who gets all soft because of a fucking headache.  
"I'm not very suprised, you know? You were bleeding a lot. He hit you somewhere else?"  
"My back." He pulled my t-shirt up and I swear I heard a quiet fuck. "Sam?"  
"What a fucking son of a... I'm calling Ruby, don't move, okay?"


	23. Twenty-three.

I was laying there for something that seemed like eternity. I heard his phone call and also fight with Dean, so I somehow forced myself to stand up and take a look. They were in the kitchen, Dean with the burger in his hand and Sam waving his phone at him. It would look very funny, if I didn't know better.  
"...and I told you not to come into his room, right? Are you trying to get me fucking furious, Sammy? I would have kill you if I saw you there."  
"I just needed to check if he's okay, Dean. I wouldn't have to if you treat him better. You're beating the shit out of him like dad used to do to you!"  
Sam's body hit the wall when Dean slapped his face and I decided I should probably stop it, but it really hurt to move at all.  
"Don't you ever compare me to him! This is different, Cas gave me permission."  
"It would still be rape and abuse if I decided to report you, you know?"  
He got to be kidding me.  
"You wouldn't do that. I won't let you."  
"You'll kill him some day, Dean. And you'll hate yourself for this, because I know you love him in some twisted way."  
"Dean..." I whined weakly, leaning against the wall with all my strenght not to fall right then and there onto the floor. They both looked at me and I found Dean suddenly by my side, arm wrapped around my waist.  
"I told you to stay in bed."  
"I'm not feeling well." I carefully placed my head on his chest, tears falling from my eyes. Every little move was like a torture, my head hurt badly, but that was nothing. I knew something's wrong with my back and I had to know what exactly. I needed to be healthy to deal with John, after all.  
"Let's get you back to your room, huh?"

Dean placed me on my stomach on the bed and he stayed with me while we were waiting for Ruby. It's been a long hours, I still felt like dying and even his hand caressing my cheek didn't help.  
"I'm so sorry, baby... I didn't mean to hurt you that much."  
"It's alright, Dean. You don't need to apologise for anything." I closed my eyes when he kissed me, his soft lips pressed against mine as my tongue found its way to his mouth. He let me, because he obviously felt guilty and well - he should. He crossed the line that day. I didn't actually care about my health, but the fact I couldn't even walk properly, not to mention the tortures I prepared for John, pissed me off.  
"I'm in love with you, you know that, right? And I don't think you'll ever kill me."  
"No... Sammy's right. I'm a monster. " His voice was as broken like the voice of a child whom tries so hard not to cry.  
"Yes, you are." I said simply and he looked at me suprised, but also scared. "But I'm a monster too. We're meant to be, Dean. There is no one else like us."  
"I don't know what have I done to deserve you, Cas."  
"You saved my life." He smiled at that and kissed my forehead. I fell asleep soon after our little conversation with Dean's hand on my butt and his face only millimeters from mine. I could feel his hot breath on my skin and it gave me strong chills.  
"Cas, wake up." I heard and immediately opened my eyes with the intention to kill whoever decided to wake me up. But of course - it was Dean himself. He interrupted the best wet dream I've had in years and wide grin on his face was telling me he knew that well. "Behave, Ruby's here."  
"I'd behave if you've let me finish. Now I'm gonna be grumpy."  
"You're always grumpy." I looked up to see Sam with Ruby by his side, curled into his enormous body. She sent me a weak smile before she asked Dean to leave.  
"What? I'm staying." He stood up, but didn't move any more than that.  
"You're leaving. I need to check on him without any audience. So get out or I'm calling the ambulance. "  
Me and Dean raised our eyebrows in the exact same time, neither of us expecting Sammy's girl to be so dominant. But that actually made a lot of sense. He kissed me in his usual brutal manner and left, dragging his little brother with him.

"How are you feeling, Cas?" She asked gently, cutting my t-shirt in half. Then she did the same with my pants and boxers.  
"Hey, what the hell?! I thought you'll just take a look at my back."  
"Sam asked me to make sure you're okay." I screamed when she touched my back, the pain was so strong I might as well be ripped with some knife in the same moment and didn't notice. "Alright... That’s not good. You need a real doctor."  
"What is it?" I mumbled, not feeling like lifting my head up from the pillow.  
"Your right blade is fractured. I don't think I can do anything with that outside of the hospital unless Dean kidnap some surgeon from ortho."  
That was just perfect. The last thing we needed was me needing an operation. I know Dean would do it without a second thought, he would do anything do keep me safe. Especially when this whole situation was his fault. I sighted, because even how much I wanted to get better I didn't want Dean to end up in prison. And kidnapping a doctor isn't the same as kidnapping some whore from the street. I knew FBI won't miss that chance, but I thought we can handle this. Turns out we couldn't, but I had no idea.  
"Tell him to do it."  
She did and then she was back, touching my body in places I've never thought anyone except Dean will ever touch me. I jerked off when her silk finger touched my entrance still full of Dean's come, because that was fucking enough.  
"Take your hand off me!"  
"Calm down, it's just a salve for pain. It will help you, you'll thank me later."  
"I don't think so. Better hope I won't tell Dean you touched me there or he will kill you."  
She laughed, like literally laughed and delicately turned me on my back, so I was laying naked with half hard dick right in front if her eyes. She put some band-aids all over my throat and check if my ribs aren't broken.  
"I don't know what I can do about this bruises on your hips, but fortunately your hip bones are fine. Are they hurt?"  
"They are, but they should be. I'm alright, it's just my back."  
"Yeah, you're lucky your head has stopped bleeding." She covered me with a blanket and stroked my hair with her little fingers. She would be useful, but that would mean spending more time with Sammy and less privacy. Not that I mind having sex in front of people, but Dean does. Well, until I convince him otherwise.

"Cas... He's not coming back, something happened."  
Sam voice broke my sleep so suddenly I almost put my knife inside his chest. Or at least I would if I could move my hand.  
"He will be back. He's probably waiting for an occasion." I whispered before loud jawn escaped my mouth. "He always comes back to me."""  
"I really don't know why you love him. I know it's my brother, but... He's hurting you."  
"He's not. Shut up."  
"Cas... Why don't you listen to me for a second? You should go to school, have friends and normal girlfriend or boyfriend, or whatever."  
"I said shut up."  
"You should at least try what it's like to have a normal life. You're still just a kid, you shouldn't be beaten and fucked by someone twenty years older."  
"Shut the fuck up, Samuel!"  
I sent him a murderous gaze and he finally stopped talking. But his words stayed in my head and to be honest - I started to feel the same way I did after this one romantic movie. Crappy movie in the crappy cinema he's dragged me into. I couldn't understand why he keeps telling me I should run away, but it hurt for some reason. I pressed my face into the pillow, seeing that my tears would only caused him to think he's right. And even if he was, he didn't need to know that. Because I was sure I won't leave no matter what, I'll be with Dean 'till the very end when we'll both be dead.


	24. Twenty-four.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So so sorry it took so long, I promise to add new chapters every Sunday. Also forgive my mistakes of there are any (I'm sure they are), but it's so early and I just want to sleep.  
> We have some big cliffhanger out there and that means the story will be over soon. Enjoy, leave kudos amd comments - I really appreciate every one of them.

We have been waiting for Dean for exactly twenty two hours. And when he finally showed up, he was covered in blood and dirt, bruise similar to mine forming under his eye. He dragged some man in his fifties probably towards my bed which violently broke my sleep. I looked at him still hazed from the nighmare I've just had and second after I felt Dean's soft lips on my own.  
"You fix him or I'll kill you and your wife, and your sweet daughter too. And maybe I will have some fun with them first if you piss me."  
Man immediately stood up. He had a dissected eyebrow and few cuts on his face and jaw, his eyes were filled with fear. Even in that situation, scared prey made me horny as fuck. I can blame hormones for that though.   
"And you better not fucking come in front of him, angel." Dean growled when his eyes wandered to my crotch, where the blanket looked like a little tent. I whimpered pathetically as he slid his hand underneath it and gripped my balls.  "These are mine and no one else will see what's inside, understood?"  
"Y-yes, daddy." I've answered as quickly as I could and didn't miss the disgusted look on doctor's face when I have. Dean kissed me again before standing in the corner with arms crossed on his chest. Doctor gently forced me to sit up and I screamed when he was touching my blade, cause it seemed like hours.  
"You were right, I think it's fractured. And he needs a surgery, we should take him to the hospital and I can--"  
"No hospital. Tell me what you need and you'll get it."  
"Excuse me?" Man seemed utterly shocked and confused, like he had no idea what Dean was talking about.  
"You will do it here."  
"What? Are you... Are you insane?! This can kill him, it's not sterile in here, I don't have a nurses or anesthesiologist, monitors... It's-it's not that simple! I can't do it."  
"I didn't ask about your opinion. I asked about what you need to do the surgery."   
"I would do as he says. He's not the most patient guy." I said, seeing that Dean's face became pink and that was the sign of him loosing his temper. And I couldn't wait another day for a doctor. The man locked his eyes on mine and remained silent for couple of minutes. I know he was most likely looking for anything that would convince him I didn't want to be there, but there was nothing. He clearly had troubles understanding my pure love towards Dean, probably thinking he's forced me to love him. But he hasn't. If anything, I have forced Dean to love me this way.

After doctor told Dean what we need, he left us in my room. Doctor was chained as far from my bed as it was possible and Sam was watching us the whole time. Sammy had this friendly looking face and the way he was petting my hair in comfort manner must have told the other man he can speak now.  
"Why can't you just unchain me? I can help you, boys. He won't find you, just--"  
" I don't care what's going on in your head, but I'm not a slave. I want to stay here." Sam sighed and sent the Doctor tired look.   
"You're just a kid... I saw you on the news. You're fifteen, right? It's not healthy for you. There are people out there who can help you with the trauma and forget about what he did to you."  
"Aww. That’s truly sweet. Am I traumatised, Samuel?"  
"No."  
"Why don't you tell our friend who told Dean to kill my parents? Or who keeps famous John Winchester in our basement?" I took his hand, tracing patterns with my thumb. And then I placed it on his tigh, slowly sliding it up. I licked my lips and then smirked, seeing Sam terrified expression made me even more turned on. "Or who raped this girl they've found in the park few days ago?"  
"Cas, stop."  
"Why? Bet last time I caught you jerking off you were thinking about fucking me into the mattress. You think I haven't noticed how you're watching us whenever you have a chance?"  
"I'm not, it's not--"I guided his hand on his half erected cock and gave it a little squiz before I let go. I shouldn't have touched him at all, but his quiet moan and horror on doctor's face were so worth it. And I was sure Sam won't tell Dean about that, because it wouldn't end good otherwise. Doesn't matter who started, every person who has touched me or who I have touched end up with his throat ripped.   
"No need to explain yourself, I'm not the one to judge, you know? Just want to make some things clear for both of you. You can think I'm a victim here, but the truth is I own Dean more than he owns me. He can beat me, but in the end I'm getting what I want. So... No more shit talks about normality or regular teenagers, alright?" They shook their heads yes in almost exact same time and I couldn't stop a small laugh. "Good."

I don't really know what happened after, but turned out they did this surgery. On the fucking kitchen table, can you believe that? Good think Dean told them to give me anesthesia earlier, because if I knew what they are planning they would be all dead. Maybe except Dean.  
"How are you, baby? Feeling better?" Was the first thing I've heard after waking up and made my blood boiling with anger.  
"Are you fucking serious, Dean? Give me drugs or I'll fucking kill you." I put a pillow on my face, mumbling some Russian words I didn't really know I still remember. But it was basically me scolding them for being stupid and reckless.   
"Doc gave you as much morphine as he could, I don't have anything else."  
"Well, you should. I'm sure you know some dealer."  
"I won't give you drugs, Cas. You're a kid."  
"For fuck's sake! If I hear it one more time, I will do you replay of fucking Hiroshima!"  
He smirked and kissed me, his tongue licking my bottom lips just enough for me to let him in. When I didn't, too stubborn in my rage, he gripped my chain and forced my lips apart. As much as I wanted to be mad at him, I couldn't help, but leaned into his touch. He tasted like a whiskey, blood and pure Dean, my favourite combination of all the times.  
"I love you too, angel. Glad you're awake."  
"I fucking hate you..." I said to made my point, but my hand held his and my voice was so gentle it would be very surprising if he believed me. He laid beside me, carresing my stomach with his free hand. I don't know for how long we were laying there, but neither of us wanted to move at all. I was happy he's done all of that for me, that was the final prove of his unconditional love for me. I really needed that.

And then happened something completely unexpected. I've heard a noise, like someone's opened the door with something heavy and then about thirty deep voices was walking around the bunker.  
"Oh shit!" Dean put my clothes on, trying not to hurt me to much in what he didn't succeed at all. He was still in his dirty clothes from before and when he intended to change them I saw five men standing in my door. They were wearing uniform and bulletproof vests, each one holding a gun in his hands.  
"Dean Winchester." Dean put me behind himself, holding me from falling onto the floor and the man took a steo forward. "Nice to finally meet you. You know for how long we've been tracing you and your father?"  
"I still can kill all of you."  
"Oh I don't think you can. You don't even have a gun. Let the boy go."  
I laughed, because he honestly thought Dean needs a gun to kill anyone. And also because they were still assuming I'm his hostage or whatever. I saw utter shock on their faces and sent them an innocent smile before placing soft kiss on Dean's neck.  
"Not the best time for that, baby."  
"But they have no idea! You fucked me on these crime scenes and I played with that girl and they still don't get it."  
"We don't get what, boy?" Mister Agent looked pissed, he clearly didn't know things will turn out like this. I licked my lips, looking into his eyes.  
"You don't get who's more dangerous in here."  
"Okay. Assuming you are his... Partner or whatever. You are still a child and you can't even stand properly."  
"I'm not going to fight you now. You can put your nice handcuffs on us, we will cooperate. And we don't want a lawyer."  
Dean looked at me briefly, but I was sure he understood my plan. We've talked about this more times than I could count. Besides, the fun was just about to start.


	25. Twenty-five.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not Sunday yet, but there is nothing more I could've written in this one. Sorry for this being short, although I think next chapter will be worth it. Enjoy!

They handcuffed Dean and when they didn't seem to want to do the same thing with me, I pulled him into a rough kiss, letting his tongue in and scratching the back of his neck. Not even a minute after Agent Assbutt yanked me away. I screamed loud, feeling the burn on my back.  
"He's just had a fucking surgery, you moron!" Dean kicked him right below his knee while I was kneeling on the floor, trying to calm down my breathing. "Touch him again like that and you'll be dead."  
"A surgery?" He looked at me and pulled my t-shirt up only to see massive bruises I had from when Dean has literally thrown me onto his car and also the floor after that for an obvious reasons. Along with them he saw the stitches, I don't know how many of them I had, but they were surely paintful. Agents looked around each other before one of them called the ambulance. Which meant they were going to take me to the hospital and Dean would be in the FBI quarter, and that was definitely not a part of our plan.  
"I'm really looking forward to your execution, Winchester. Think I'm even gonna sit upfront for a better view."  
"I assure you won't see it." I said, sending Agent Assbutt a smirk.  
"You think you can escape federal prison?"  
"I think we can, in fact. But I'm not saying we will."  
"So what are you saying? You know what they're doing to pedophiles, don't you? I bet he will be they favourite fuck toy with this pretty face."  
"No, he won't." I answered firmly, knowing I'm the only one able to see terrified expression on Dean's face. It was just his eyes - wide opened and so child-alike, like they used to be near his father in the beginning. Indeed, we both knew what other prisoners would do to Dean of we get caught. I might gave him my consent, but I was still young and there's always someone who thinks kids are kids and they shouldn't be touched. We could try to hide this one little fact of his life, but I was sure our adorable Agent intended to make sure everyone knows. He hated Dean for some reason and I couldn't figured if it's because it was personal or he just loved his boring job. Not that it mattered, but I was simply curious. I wondered if maybe this girl I've raped was his daughter. Or one of the women Dean has killed over the years might have been his wife.  
"Take him away." He ordered and two agents, the tallest and most muscular ones, took Dean's arms and dragged him outside. I managed to whisper silent ""_I love you_ and he muttered _Me too._. That calmed me down a little bit, just enough to stop me from turning the bunker into modern Auschwitz for feds.

" They took me to the hospital and made hundreds of tests to see if there is no infection. Fortunately I was fine or at least as fine as I could be in my condition. They gave me more morphine or maybe some other painkillers too and let me rest for a while. I was well aware of policemen watching my room and that made me laugh like hell. They still haven't put any handcuffs on my wrists at this point."  
"We need to examine you and make pictures for the FBI."  
"I'm not letting you use my bruises against Dean. Besides... I'm not even legally in America, you don't have the right to do anything to me unless I'm accused of some crime. Which I'm not, because you have nothing on me. Only thing you can do is sending me back to Russia." I smiled sweetly, seeing doctor's and Agent Assbutt expressions. I was probably their only witness except our little doctor friend and he was with us only for few hours. I was sure John won't tell anything and they wanted him dead anyway. Sam and Ruby have probably already sold FBI a little story about how Dean forced them to help him with my injuries. Everything was going exactly how I've planned.  
"Listen to me, kid. We won't send you anywhere. We need you to tell us what he's done to you and the others. I know it's hard and I know you think you love him, but he hurt you. He's the reason you're in the hospital right now, isn't he?"  
"You have no idea, Agent. And you clearly don't know how good beating can increase psycho's libido." I licked me lips, making sure our eyes are locked. "And I'm not talking about him here."  
"We will send our psychiatrist to see you. " He sighed and I giggled, raising my hand like the kids in school. I learned that from the movie Sam has showed me.  
"Send me the one writing books about killers and I'll tell you the whole story with every little detail."  
He raised an eyebrow at me, obviously suprised.  
"You will? The whole story?"  
"Yes. The whole story of our life together. Without the parts when I didn't know he's a killer yet, because they're not important. But you will let me see Dean and you will let me kiss him."  
"Odd wish... But deal, I'll get you our writer." He left and doctor followed him immediately. I didn't actually think it would be that easy to convice him me meeting Dean is a good idea. But apparently they had too little evidence to give Dean death sentence and I was aware that's exactly what they've wanted for him. They were so riddiculous. Dean was doing _their_ job and he was even better at it. He was cleaning America from the scumbags that FBI couldn't catch. At least before he met me. I forced him to kill people who were innocent just because I could. While he treated killing as a job, I treated it as a fun and the proof of my power over him.

It's been a week when they finally let me out of the hospital and Agent Assbutt took me to federal prison. He lead me into small room surrounded by guards and that's were I saw Dean. He was paler than usual, his eyes lost its light until he turned his head towards me. He has few bruises on his arms and face, but he was grinning at me like nothing ever happened. Like we were still home.  
" Dean..." I crawled onto his laps, thighs on both sides of his body and felt his strong hands on my hips where they belongs. He kissed me, even rougher than he always did and we were making out for good half an hour.  
"I missed you, my sweet angel." He whispered when we broke apart, almost completely out of breath. I moved my hips to meet hard erection and bit his neck enough to taste blood. "You know they are watching us, don't you?"  
"Let them watch. He can stand right next to me, I don't care. I need you."  
I bit him again, near collarbone this time and much harder than it was even needed, forcing quiet moan to escape his mouth. I was rutting against him in this frantic pace, making us both come in no time. I moaned his name during climax, making sure it's loud enough for agents to hear. And then I kissed him again, feeling his tongue taking miniature package from my mouth which I was having this whole time. The reason I came to see him in the first place.  
"_Use it in two days from now._"  
" Okay. I love you, Cas."  
"Love you too, Dean."  
With this words I was dragged outside. I simply stood in the hallway, smiling innocently as Agent Assbutt tried to control himself from killing me. Or killing himself for letting me see Dean.  
"What did you say to him?"  
"Not really important. I will tell your psychiatrist though, just like I've promised. Can we go now?"


	26. Twenty-six.

"...and there we are." He finished his story with a wide smile on his bruised face. His eyes were empty, locked on the face of the man sitting right in front of him. "How did you like it?"  
"Castiel... You do know the FBI can and will use it against you?"  
Boy laughed, his voice so childish, yet this laugh was thrilling and full of bloodlust so strong doctor Singer felt cold chills on his back.  
"You can try, of course. But both me and Dean will negate every word."  
"So why?"  
"Why did I tell you? Come on, doc! That simple. What's the point if the world won't know our names?"  
"You want people to know you?"  
Then something appeared in this bluest eyes Singer has ever seen. Something like pride and despair at once.  
"I want them to fear me. I want them so terrified they won't go out in the evenings. You know what's the most exhausting thing in my relationship with Dean? That you all think I am the victim. You have no idea how good and delicate he was before he found me. You have no fucking idea how much I broke him and stole this tiny little piece of hope he had. I love him. I fell in love with him. And I forced him to fall in love with me too. **I** forced him to become a who he is now. Can you understand that, doctor?"  
" I was never thinking of you as a victim."  
Man smiled politely while Castiel carefully studied his face, probably trying to remember every little detail. He didn't have any handcuffs on, because FBI still considered him as a regular kid. Kid who just went though a lot of trauma since the very beginning of his life. Singer knew it was right, but something about him was too much to only be the result of his childhood. Boy was like a predator ready to chase every prey in his sight, doesn't matter how big or small. His mind was clever, he could surely kill all of the agents and help Dean Winchester in his way out of jail without an effort, but for some reason he was still sitting patiently in the same room.   
Eighteen hours.   
He's never even moved.  
"I don't want you killed, doc. You're too useful." He stated like he was reading agent's mind. It took him few long minutes to put himself together. Robert Singer was well known psychiatrist, he's been working for the FBI for the last twenty-five years, studying serial killers and writing books about the most exciting cases. Not that he enjoyed the vision of death and slaughter, but their minds were somethimes working so differently from the normal ones, it would be a great shame not to keep this on the paper.   
He was utterly suprised when Agent Campbell asked him to interrogate the witness in Winchester's case - he was hoping to talk with Dean himself, but the minute he's walked through that door it all made sense. For regular people Castiel must've looked like a victim of some terrible abuse. Half of his face was covered in bruises along with his neck, where there were clearly signs of multiple suffocation. Most of them probably caused by the thick chain he was wearing. He also had marks on his wrists and sling keeping one of his hands immobilised. That’s exactly how victims look like. But there was one simple detail, something majority of people didn't seem to notice.  
His body language.   
Boy was sitting absolutely straight, fingers of his healthy hand slowly tracing patterns on the table. He kept eye contact with Singer the whole time they were talking, subtle smirk on his face showing he surely enjoyed his story. While the victims would try to cover themselves, built a wall between them and the other person, he was completely relaxed and exposed. He might have been fifteen, but that only made him scarier. It's not old, experienced criminal who is so dangerous - it's the young one, full of hormones and lack of any experience. And from the way he behaved, it was clear teenager's been spending his life only with Dean. His Russian accent was almost completely gone, replaced with this texan manner of talking Winchester had. He was swearing a lot, using perfect grammar and rich vocabulary in every sentence, but at the same time he couldn't name even the simplest emotion right. He was talking like a damaged adult, not like a kid. His eyes were sparkling only when he mentioned Dean and by the time he mentioned drinking his blood, his pupils were so dilated he almost looked like some kind of demon. And that's exactly what he was.  
Castiel Novak was a demon.

"I want to ask you a few questions now, alright?"  
"Of course you do, you're a psychiatrist after all. Go ahead."  
He still didn't shift on his chair, jist put his hand on his thigh. It seemed like he wasn't even blinking. Singer felt sweaty spots forming on his dress shirt on his back and under his armpits.   
"What did you feel when you first saw Dean covered in blood? You remember when that was?"  
"Exactly six months after he took me from my parents. It was the first night he left me alone for more than ten minutes. I was asleep when he got back, his had a cut on his cheek. I started crying for him to hug me, because I got scared and when he did, he smelled so good I just had to lick the blood of his face. Sweet and tasty, you know?"  
Vision of eight years old boy drinking blood from killer's wound is definitely something even psychiatrist can't forget. People in Singer's profession had to be hard to break, but sometimes what they hear is just too much. Who wouldn't feel disgusted by this story? Even Sam Winchester seemed terrified and he was a part of this.  
"How is that possible they let you keep this chain on your neck? It's clearly an evidence."  
Castiel smiled so innocently man almost forgot he's a psychopath.   
"Oh, I've told them to choose between my story and my chain. It was obvious what's more valuable for them."  
"One more."  
"What's in that package I gave Dean? You're so predictable, doc. But there may be something I didn't tell you."

_________________________________________

 

We were laying in Dean's bed, covered in sweat amd fluids. His eyes were half closed, but I kept kissing his chest and scratching his thigh, cause it still wasn't enough for me. It was never enough.   
"I know you can do better, daddy." I whispered sweetly into his ear and apparently that was all it takes to made him fully awake again. He flipped me so I was laying on my back now and pushed in at once. Then he kissed me, moving in fast and hard movements. I knew he just wanted me to shut up already and sleep, but he had to do his job first. And his job was to please me.  
"More..." I moaned, bitting his arm hard enough to break his sensitive skin. He growled and wrapped his fingers tight around my throat (I wasn't wearing a collar yet) and we both came. He didn't pull out like I thought he will, instead he was looking into my eyes. I tried to calm down my breath - not quite successful.  
"Angel, I need you to promise me something."  
"Whatever you want."   
I didn't have to think about my answer, it just blurted out of my mouth. I would do everything for him, we both know that.   
"If-- When we get caught." He put his finger on my mouth to stop me from talking. "Just listen, okay? We will get caught, Cas. And when it happens I need to know you won't let them kill me. And that you won't end up in prison. I can take it, alright? I know what they'll do to me for what we have, but you... You can't be in there, Castiel. Promise me you will figure your way out."  
"Of course. I won't spend even one day in prison, I promise."  
"And you will kill me before they do."  
I didn't have to think this time as well, which somehow scared me. He's my whole world and yet this words were so simple to say. Too simple.   
"I will. I love you, Dean."

_________________________________________

 

Singer felt his mouth going dry when childish grin appeared on boy's face again. It's been two days since he visited Winchester in federal prison. Two fucking days.  
"Are you telling me if we go check on him right now..." He cleared his throat, trying to remain calm. "Is he already dead?"  
Castiel laughed shortly and then his face changed completely. His eyes got dark, lips crossed into a thin line and he wasn't even looking like a teenager anymore. When he spoke, his voice was deep and thrilling.   
"I don't know, doctor. Is he?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a small chance (but still) I will post another chapter on Sunday. Hope you liked this little change!


	27. Twenty-seven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your comments and kudos. And enjoy!  
> Any thank yous to @thefangirlingbread for being so amazing and helping me with this story.

About twenty guards, medics and FBI agents were running through the federal prison. By the time they arrived to Dean Winchester's cell it was obvious he is already dead. Agent Campbell was the first one to come inside.  
"What a fucking bastard!" He kicked man's lifeless body before he let the medics do their work. One of them, man called Benny, checked Dean's pulse and sadly shook his head.  
"I'm sorry, agent. He's long gone."  
"Take him away."  
He literally couldn't believe some fucking kid played with him this way. He was an FBI agent for thirty years and he has never been so mistaken in his entire career. He lost his most important prisoner because of teenager's intrigues. The Bureau would definitely fire him soon. Dean Winchester has been the most wanted criminal since they found out his father, John, wasn't working alone anymore. But for the last year he killed more people than he and John before in total. Doctor Singer's claiming all of these murders were planned by Castiel Novak. At that point it seemed like he had to be finally confronted. Campbell quickly drove to the quarter where they were keeping the boy and even more quickly found his way to his room. It was basically an interrogation room with nothing but a table and two chairs, but Castiel didn't want to move anywhere. He said he doesn't need bed, because he won't be sleeping anyway.  
When he opened the door, the room was empty.  
"What the fucking hell... Secure the building, close every door! Now!"   
Campbell headed straight to the security room where they had lifestream from every camera in the entire quarter. Although he was almost completely sure they won't be able to find the kid. Ever again. He also started to think Novak let FBI trace them on purpose, just to have his little chat with doctor Singer.

 

They found a footage in which Castiel smiles straight into the camera with thumb in his mouth before he just opened the door and fucking leaves. How is that possible nobody noticed?   
_Who has opened this freaking door?_

 

_________________________________________

 

In the meantime, the teenager was already lying on some crappy motel bed in Florida. He's never been to Miami before, but he certainly didn't like it. Too hot and too full of ugly, naked people. Not that he minded being naked - not at all. He just didn't enjoy women's imperfect bodies so exposed for him to see every little scratch. But it didn't matter, he couldn't just sit on the beach anyway, so he locked himself up.  
He was waiting.  
Funny thing, seeing as he was never very patient. He thought maybe it's because he's growing up which caused him to laugh. Becoming an adult should be about choosing the right Uni or getting married, not finding out the safest way to disappear from FBI's radars. His smile is soon gone though, when his mind wanders to Dean.   
Dean's fear when he swallows the poison.   
Dean's cold body on the floor.   
Dean's heart immobilised.   
"Fucking shit!" He yelled when hot tears touched his cheeks. Sammy was right after all, he can't live without Dean. He doesn't know how. He would never love anyone else, he would never let anyone else touch him. So what's the point? He could easily end this.  
But instead, he was still waiting.

 

_________________________________________

 

"What the hell do you mean the body's gone?!"  
Agent Campbell clenched both hands into fists on his desk, trying not to kill anyone. Usually, he was very calm, but not today. He hated when people were playing with him and this Novak kid surely wanted to show who the smart one is. Unfortunately, he has won so far, and that was unforgivable.   
"Get me the young Winchester here."

 

Twenty minutes later, Sam Winchester appeared in Campbell's office with clearly annoyed expression. His eyes were swollen and red like he was crying, which was probably true. Whatever he said earlier about Dean, they were still brothers and family isn't something you can just forget.  
"What do you want form me? I missed my flight because of you. _Again._"  
" You're brother is missing." He simply answered, waiting for any reaction from the younger man. There was none, his face was looked exactly the same. Then he took a deep breath and muttered like if every word hurt.  
"My brother's dead."  
"Well... Now I'm not so sure about that."  
"How can you not be sure? I saw his body!"  
"Yeah, but I think Novak did something to--"  
"Then ask him, not me." When Agent remain silent for a long time realisation came into lawyer's eyes. "Is he gone? You lost Castiel? You fucking idiots..."  
"Hey, watch your mouth! We're looking for him."  
Sam laughed, his voice full of bitterness.  
"You won't _ever_ find him. He's probably million steps ahead of you. He most likely has hundreds of backup plans. Have you even met this kid? He's basically a genius."  
" Really? Didn't notice!" Campbell fell onto his chair, giving himself a moment of weakness in front of one of the witnesses which he has never done before. This kind of mistakes may cost lives, but he had strange feeling Winchester is more concerned about Castiel's disappearance than anything else in the entire world.  
"You know... If I were you, I would check if John is still in his cell."  
"Oh fuck!"

 

They found John's body cold, lying on the bed completely bloodless with a note saying _"You should listen next time someone tells you he's the dangerous one."_

 

_________________________________________

 

It's been ages and he's still waiting. And he's getting more and more annoyed with every second. But he was laying in the exact same position, his eyes locked on the door in front of him. He smelled fresh blood contained in bottles on the night table. Glass ones, cause plastic makes it stink like hell.   
He took his time with John, not as much as he wanted, but enough to make him die in pain. Intimidating the guards was real simple - Castiel only needed one to help him escape, let him into John's cell and bring him Dean's body. He wasn't even a guard, just some Dean's old friend who liked him maybe a little bit too much for Cas' comfort. But he will be dead after this, so it didn't matter.   
"What took you so long?" He said firmly when he heard door being opened. He didn't have to wait for him to come in, cause it could be only one person.  
"Sorry, kiddo. But he's a bit heavy, ya know?"  
Benny walked into the room, throwing Dean on the bed right next to Castiel. Before Benny had a chance to say anything else his throat was cut in half. Boy didn't even look at him, just placed his thighs on either side of Dean's hips and placed a soft kiss on his mouth.  
"It's time to open your eyes, Dean."


	28. Twenty-eight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Pretty sick shit in here! And I updated the tags, so don't say I didn't warn you.
> 
> Also: so so sorry for delay. Again, I know. I suck at sticking to my writing schedule.

"Dean... Come on. Wake up."  
He covered Dean's cold body with his own and wrapped themselves in a thick blanket. The panic in him was raising every second that man's heart stayed immobilised. And as this realisation came into his mind, he started crying, his face wet from tears. He wasn't crying because of the fact Dean was dead, not exactly. It was destroying sadness, because he would be alone and he doesn't want that. So even in a situation like that, his mind was completely focus on himself. He was thinking again that he can't possibly live without Dean. He had no idea how to do it. Who would buy him food? And clothes? Who would bring him some ugly ladies (whom were actually consider beautiful by most people) for him to watch them dying in agony later? Who would fuck him like he was just a sex toy and not a child? With all the beating and chocking, and names?  
It took years to wrap Dean around he's finger like that and he didn't have patience to do it again. He didn't want to do it again, not with someone else.  
"You son of a bitch, wake up!" He slapped man's cheek, but still got no reaction. "No no no... No. Dean, please... Please, you can't leave me like that! Y'hear me?! Open your eyes, you stupid bastard!"  
Dean's body is cold, lips turning more blueish every second.  
"What have I done... Fuck. Fuck!" He found hos phone and call the only person who can help him. "The hell did you give me?! You said it's going to stop working, you **told me** it's safe!"  
" Hey, kid. Calm down, what happened?"   
"He's fucking dead, that's what happened! You killed him!"  
"I didn't do anything, Castiel. You gave him that, I just--"  
"Aren't you studying medicine, Ruby? What did they teach you in this fucking school? You tell me how to fix him or I'll kill you. You and Sam, and your baby he doesn't even know about yet."  
There was a long silence where Castiel listened to Ruby's nervous breathing. She muttered something he couldn't hear and he heard phone being put down.  
"Well, they use different machines to pumping blood while heart is turned off, I don't know... why don't you ask Benny, he should know!"  
"Benny is not very helpful anymore. " He took a brief look at the body laying on the floor. Maybe he shouldn't have killed him so soon, but who cares? He wouldn't stand being in the same room with him for more than twenty seconds.  
"Then I don't know, Cas! Put him into some hot water or whatever. He'll be fine, he's Dean Winchester."  
"I want to see you now. You know where I am."  
He hung up and threw his phone through the window to let it broke on the street. Then he managed to do something nearly impossible - he somehow dragged Dean to the bathroom, put his body into the shower and turned on the hot water. And he was waiting for anything to happen.

Ruby found Castiel with his arms wrapped around Dean. They were both in boxers only, completely wet and they skin was red. The bathroom looked more like a steaming room than an actual bathroom, but boy didn't seem to care.  
"Castiel... Come on, your skin is burned." She said carefully, turning the water off and tried to force him to stand up.  
"Fuck off!"  
It didn't even sound like yelling, more like a wounded animal growling. That made Ruby take a step back, because boy seemed to be completely unpredictable at that moment.   
"Cas... Cas, he's gone. You need to leave him alone." Sam came into the room, throwing Castiel across his shoulder. The whole apartment was filled with angry noises and screams. "Calm down. It's okay, I'll help you."  
"Get the fuck out off here, Sam! Get the fuck out!" He jumped off the bed and ram straight to the bathroom, taking his special bottles with him. There had to be a way to undo what he's done.  
"Why the fuck are you doing?! Whose blood is it?" Ruby pressed her back to the wall, getting more scared every second. Castiel looked at her, his eyes wild amd dark. Something was there, something utterly terrifying and she started wondering if Dean was ever afraid of his young lover.  
"He will give me that bath. And he will fuck me in there, you get it? He promised!"

He filled the old bathtub with John's blood, whispering soothing words into Dean's ear the whole time. Ruby and Sam were sitting on the bed, clearly not sure what else they could do. None of them wanted to argue with the boy. Sam helped putting his brother's corpse into the blood and closed the door. He didn't want to see any of this. His brother was dead and Castiel was using him in such disgusting way. And he was still only fifteen. 

"I know you want to wake up, daddy..." He whispered, climbing onto Dean's laps and lowering himself so man's cock could slip right inside of his body. Soon after, he started moving and how much as he knew it's filthy and sick, he still loved every moment. Because alive or not, it was Dean. It was always Dean. "Wake up. Come on, you son of a bitch, you promised me!"  
Five minutes later, he saw the beautiful green again. He couldn't help a childish noise escaping his mouth when he realised it has worked. And Dean was back.  
"Wha-- Cas? But how... I was supposed to be dead?" Man looked at him completely confused, looking around the bathroom. "Why am I sitting there in blood? Why's my dick inside you?"  
"I love you."  
"Okay, me too, but... What the hell?!"  
"You told me to figured my way out if we get caught. **You** are my way out, Dean. You're my everything. "


	29. Twenty-nine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As we're going to an end I thought you all deserve some Dean POV to understand this whole thing a little better. Enjoy!

It was probably the weirdest feeling in the entire world - coming back alive. He spent last three days firstly preparing himself to die and then actually _being dead_. Then there he was, sitting in stinky bath full of blood with his psycho boyfriend on top of him.  
" Cas... I appreciate the effort, really. But what the fucking hell?! You can even stand five minutes without dick in your ass?"  
A pair of clean, blue eyes suddenly became dark and full of anger. Moments like that always scared the hell out of him, but he couldn't admit that. If there was only things he was grateful John's done it was teaching him to never show weakness. Especially not in front of people like Cas. Dean always acted like he doesn't know how fucked up the boy is, but the truth is he knew. He's known since their first meeting, since he saw little Castiel in that building, completely unaware of anything. He looked like an angel, the real angel, but his wings were already broken and the thought of things this little hands could've done made Dean sick.  
He had to try.  
At first he thought he can help Castiel become better. Normal. However he fell too deep in love, losing himself completely in this pure selfishness and stubbornness, utterly adorable if you see it in boys so young. What he hasn't thought was that boy will grow up and these two things won't be so adorable anymore. He let Cas control him, even though they both pretended it was the other way around. Castiel made him worse, he took his rules and mercy and threw it against the wall, and Dean just watched that happen. He was standing right there, allowing his sinful lover to destroy everything he believed in for so many years.  
And there was no other thing he regretted more than that.  
"You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of hell. I can throw you back in." Boy's voice was cold and far deeper than only a minute ago and it cause Dean's heart beat faster.  
"Calm down, pretty boy. I'm just confused, alright?"  
He watched Castiel standing up and leaving the bathroom, so he decided to do the same thing. To his surprise - they weren't alone. Sam and his girlfriend were sitting on bed, both staring at him with shocked expressions. Sam was the first one to move, he handed Dean pair of clean boxers.  
"Um... Thanks, Sammy." He cleared his throat and dress up as soon as he could. Cas didn't care though, he was looking for something in his bag covered in blood and naked. "Put some fucking clothes on, could you?"  
"Or what?" He growled and Dean couldn't say who was more surprised - he or Sam. He had to try and save his authority, so he pushed boy against the wall and put his hand on his still bruised throat. Dean hated those bruises, but mostly because he always felt so good doing them. He hated himself for being such a sadistic bastard, just like his father.  
"Stop talking to me like that or I'll break your neck."  
Castiel smirked, but only a little like he wanted this smile to be only for Dean.  
"I'm sorry, daddy." He whispered and Dean couldn't help hugging him, because you can say whatever you want, but he missed his little boy far more than he should. "I love you."  
"Me too, Cas. So... What's the plan?"

 

"Russia? You want me to move to Russia?!"  
"Yes, Dean. We're moving to Russia. For some time, Sam will make sure FBI will stop looking for us and then we'll come back here."  
He sat down on the bed, looking at his younger brother. He has never been outside the US, he's never even been to Canada! And now they want him to go to fucking Russia? He couldn't say one word in Russian and he doubted they know English over there. Not to mention Castiel's father was some kind of boss and they probably had more enemies that he can count.  
"My father's people are still loyal and they want to help us."  
"And you believe them? Since when you're stupid?"  
"I don't trust anyone, Dean. You should know by now. I'm going to pack our stuff into the car. Say goodbye to Sammy."

 

Sam hugged him out of nowhere before he had a chance to protest.  
"Go, Dean. He went crazy when you weren't waking up... I think it broke something in him. Be careful, okay? I'll try to get you back as soon as I can. Try not to make him angry."  
"He's only fifteen, he can't hurt me. I know how to defend myself."  
He knew Sammy is right, but he couldn't just admit it, right? He needed to pretend he's not afraid of anything, because Sam was still his baby brother and he had to be protected. At any cost.  
"We all know he can. Just stay alive, alright?"  
"Sure thing, Sam. I will. Bye Ruby." He ran downstairs to the black van where Castiel and some unfamiliar man were already waiting for him.

 

"Are you ready?"  
"Yeah... Let's do this, angel."


	30. Thirtieth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I've been gone for so long. I don't even know if I should be explaining myself, but it's just... Everything's seems so pointless now and I couldn't leave this unfinished, because the ending was in my head even before the whole story.   
> I promise I'll write more, I will do the second part, I hope it will be soon. I'm sorry to my amazing beta I'm posting it without consultation - I was trying to come up with some super long epilog, but I can't. And that part needs to be left just as it is. Thank you for your efford and I hope you'll be still willing to help me! ❤️. And thanks everyone reading this, that means the world to me. Remember you're all beautiful and loved, stay safe. 
> 
> Let me know how you like this ending.

He only tell this story twice. One time during the process, while he was interrogated by the FBI. And the second one to Dean, at the age twenty-three, when they found out Dean's blackouts were more than just a defense mechanism. Years of abuse and beating have caused his brain to become less and less effective every day. Then came the time when he didn't remember anything at all, he was forgetting even the simplest things after only a few seconds.   
They were laying side by side in their enormous bed, Cas curled into man like he used to do for the majority of his life. He finished his story with a deep kiss on Dean's soft lips. He bit them to had the last taste of this sweet blood rushing through man's body.  
"Seems like we had quite fucked up life together." He said when they finally broke, wide grin shown on his face. He had some wrinkles here and there, but other than that he still looked pretty much the same like when he was back then when they've first met.   
"Yeah, we had. But it was the best life I could ever dream of. I love you."  
"I know you do, angel. And I love you too."  
He needed to end this before Dean forgets. There were some tears in Castiel's eyes when he pulled a trigger. Dean's blood is all over the sheet and a wall behind them, his forehead decorated with a single wound from where the bullet slid into his broken brain. Then Cas' pointed the same gun to his own temple and shot again, because even though psychiatrist's told him he isn't capable of experiencing fear there was one thing he was scared of from the very bottom of his cold heart.  
And that thing was to life without Dean.


End file.
